[Anonymous]

Hey everyone,

As you can see, this is very difficult for me. If there is anyone else who has experienced a similar situation, PLEASE contact me as I would love to hear from you. I suspect April is right, but a large part of me just isn’t ready to accept that. I love him so much I would jump in front of a car for him and cannot bear the thought of losing him. I guess it would help if I had someone to talk with about this who understood first hand.

Thanks everyone! 🙂

[Anonymous]

I think she doesn’t know what she wants at the moment because she is acting kind of crazy. don’t pay attention to her…less is more if you know what I mean…get on with your life as if she doesn’t exist and you’ll see that it will be great for you…you deserve better…if she is the one she’ll be back, but as I see it not for a while…like I said she is not ready for a comitment…

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re stupid i just think you have your heart invested in this guy- I don’t think he can change unless he gets some help for his problems -I just remember when he cheats it’s not really about you or anything you’re doing wrong it’s him and his personal demons he needs to work through.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I should add some details. We were never dating! And I’m not stalking him. Ty began to distance himself from me once I admitted to having feelings for him. Instead of him telling me he just wasn’t interested and no longer wanted to see or talk to me, he fed me lines such as ” If you don’t hear it from me, don’t believe it “. Ty went so far as to make up a lie about me messing around with one of his friends just so he could have an exit strategy when I never did anything to him, but tell him I liked him. At the beginning he was possessive over me, but something changed that caused him to pull back as he did. The charming, flirty and fun guy turned cold and cruel, with no explanation. My feelings were in response to how he was acting. He started calling me his girl, introduced me to his friends and his friends became my friends. When I asked his friends where Ty got the lie from, they had no clue what I was talking about, which proved that Ty had deceived me.

What started the recent anger is Ty thinks I humiliated him and made a fool out of him, so this is why he’s lashing out at me and blocked me online because he thought I did something I didn’t do after we got into an argument. I tried to find out why he was treating me the way he did calmly and not pointing any fingers, he refused to be cordial and that’s how the insults and cheap shots escalated. Why would Ty argue with a guy I start seeing when Ty told me he had no feelings for me and that we just had sex? The issue isn’t with me, his level of anger and verbal abuse proves that to me. If you are angry with someone, something had to trigger it, but he refuses to tell me so I can’t resolve something he doesn’t want to fix. I’ve never experienced this before at all with anyone and its left me extremely confused and conflicted.

[Anonymous]

Hi April

Summer is over now. I’ve attended a number of interviews. Cabin crew has been in a holding pool. I am being paid for 2 more months. I am really worried that I am not going to get a job as it is so difficult.

I have left college so I am not seeing my crush. I have not rung or anything – neither has he. I am really concentrating on getting my life back on track as work is so important to me. I am starting to feel quite depressed as I a not seeing my crush – who use to keep me feeling alive and confident

I feel once he has received a reference request, he’ll let me know and contact me that way. Unfortunately, it is so hard staying positive as all the bullying and nastiness I had been through at work.

Any kind words?

[Anonymous]

totally. I was just with them again tonight though at their house, and ‘Tom’ was definitely looking a little awkward. I feel bad because he’s a great guy, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings by having something with one of his best friends. Should I sit down and talk to him or just let things play out? Maybe this thing with “Bill” will never even happen anyway, right?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your advice and you are probably right. We talked more last night and that helped. She was upset but is chalking it up to the creator’s immaturity. We both feel we know who may have started it (one of her work “friends” who I have met and seems to like drama).

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all your help to date April – you’ve been great 😉 and your book has been really helpful. Readers please read April’s book “Think and Date Like a Man”. It really helped me to look at myself and make improvements. 😀

I forgot to mention that he did not say good bye – rather “I’ll see you”. (clearly not final) 😉 He has not responded to the message in my card. He knows I have the interview tomorrow Wednesday. Maybe he’ll contact me to ask how it went.

When he was selling the area that I am going to for the interview, it was as if he had been employed by the local tourism office. I mentioned that I may consider moving down there (hint hint). 😉

I am curious to learn more about his domestic situation as when ever I see him he appears non-ironed, nails biten down and in a bit of disarray. I mentioned that I did not feel comfortable contacting him through the college’s e-mail system (hint) but he said he can not cope with e-mails and thats the best one to contact him on. He tried to make me feel better by stating that only his PA can access his e-mails.

Anyway, I will back off now. Its going to be hard. I cant help wondering, now that he is not seeing me on a daily basis whether he will loss interest and soeone else will catch his eye. I let a little emotion go in my card. I hope it will not scare him away. He did on one ocassion tell me how I had “hurt” him as he was truing to help me. I can not think how I did this – hopefully my card has helped him lick any wounds I inflicted. 🙂

I will keep you updated.

[Anonymous]

Would like to see Aprils opinion on this. I’m starting to think either she’s spending less time on here recently or she replies to the posts in order of importance.

[Anonymous]

I’m more focused on the age difference and not the betrayal aspect because it was only one date and a couple days later. Should I expect loyalty after one date? If not loyalty, then at least abstaining for a few weeks to see how things work out?

[Anonymous]

I have to completely agree with ‘crazed-driver’, give him some space. This is practically the same situation that I was in with my current boyfriend of a year. It was after 4 months of us being together that I found out my current boyfriend and his ex were still involved with each other. April has a great article on Ex-ediquette that I found really helpful. She explains that people keep in contact with their ex for themselves, not for the other person. In my case, his ex really wanted to get my boyfriend back and was using sex to keep him close. My boyfriend admitted to me that he was invovled with his ex and we seperated. It was SO hard. He understood why I didn’t want to see him and I had to aviod our mutual friends to keep the distance between us. At this point, I thought the relationship over and there was no chance of getting back together. But I was wrong. After three months of not contact (I got the occational text or drunk dial from him but I would ignore it), we ran into each other during a trip with mutual friends and everything started all over for us. My mindset was different as well. Since then, we have been much closer to each other and our relationship seems to have a lot more meaning for the both of us. Also, his ex is not involved anymore. But she does try to stay involved, recently she has behaved in harmful ways towards my boyfriend that infact surprised him. I find her behavior a way to get his attention, but I can’t be sure. Anyway, all the best.

[Anonymous]

well we havent hung since then and she just says she has trust issues and isnt ready for anything now and she needs go thru this single stage and junk then she will find out im hnaging out having fun and says never talk to her or speak to her and stuff but i think we are pretty much done which sucks and i still cant get my mind off her and how goow it was and just when nowhere all because one stupid weekend and how she can say she loves me but can just quit so easy idk but thanks for all the advice

[Anonymous]

[quote=”crazed-driver”]Firstly I’ve got to say, (even though I don’t know you or never spoken to you before), he’s an extremly lucky guy. Having a woman that’s doing all the worrying/chasing and he’s not even 100% ready to be with you. Anyway back to your problem. Well I’m not 100% sure of what to do if I was you, so you’ll have to wait for April to post or more members. The only thing I would recommend is stop dating/seeing this guy all together and if when he’s ready to be with you, he’ll get in touch with you. Tell him you’ll give him space to figure out what he wants and when he knows when that is, tell him to give you a call, even if its a negative response. So you can both get on with things and be friends, etc. And while you’re giving him space, don’t hang around. Go out and enjoy life and if someone comes along so be it, but if someone does come along, don’t let the other guy who you’ve given space to being your excuse to not seeing that person.[/quote]

Thanks for the advice! He is a lucky guy- with everything Ive done for him, and the things I continue to do for him… only time will tell the answer. Oh and I’m a man by the way, just thought I should clarify that. Thanks again, its a complex situation, but you’re right, I need to give him space!

[Anonymous]

im sorry to tell you but given your response you are cold and cruel i am not lying about the fucking hell i go through on a day to day life and yes he used to be in the medical field and i never said I HAD A FRIEND CALL him I SAID A FRIEND CALLED him on his own accord um hey lady hes been reading my emails your probably some fat chick

[Anonymous]

i have a somewhat similar deal going on so i am curious to any advice you may get on this. i hope it works out for you.

[Member]

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