[Anonymous]

i am 27 and she is 25 if age helps

[Anonymous]

ITS SO HARD TO “DO ME” WHEN IM AFRAID OF MAKING HER MAD OR DISSAPOINTED EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ITS LIKE IM STUCK ON WHAT TO DO AND SHE WONT HELP ME

[Anonymous]

move on? he wants the relationship back, that’s the only way he is going to believe me by sending him the cat scan so he knows i am not being deceitful i am not dying today that i know of its potentially fatal

[Anonymous]

i think you misunderstood, my friend called him to explain what was going on with my health and my ex wants the relationship back and told my friend he most definitely wants to get back together he needs time, but if this is potentially terminal which it is, that he would do it sooner than later, he would reconcile. Trust me sweetie, he cares about me he wanted to marry me, he is mistrustful is the problem. His mistrust is because I was deceitful in the past and he cant stand deceit. I have one of the good ones. All he wants from me is proof of this illness which I do have from CT’s doctors reports, xrays, i have been probbed and proded. The difference is now I have a great doctor who gives me the pain meds so i am not crying my eyes out in pain and I am not going to take the pain out on my boyfriend. So my question is really when should I send him the CT? I have been obsessive in the past and I don’t want to come across like that again. Should I wait, or send it to him right away? My pain caused a lot of damage to my relationship and we are very hurt but we love each other. If he didnt care, he wouldnt want the relationship back. To sum up, this is a simple question, complicated situation, should I send him the CT now or should I wait and give him time before I attempt contact?

[Anonymous]

April:
Thank you for your response. I thought about it and you are right, it was too much too soon. He did come around though, he said he felt the same way but he didnt want to get into anything formal as he had just left the other relationship.. The problem is that I dont think I can be in an casual relationship without constantly having expectations of a romantic relationship. Can things change or should I get back in the market?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Hi April,
We said our goodbyes Monday morning, and it was incredibly difficult for me to let him go. I have to be honest and say that I cried for the majority of the day, and now am feeling an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I guess I just want reassurance that this pain I am having will eventually go away!

We never did discuss the possibility of having a long distance relationship, I guess for me leaving things the way they were (in limbo) was a lot better than getting my heart broken. And that is something that I don’t think I could have dealt with. But that also leaves me feeling very frustrated and confused as well.

They say actions speak louder than words, and I did forget to mention a few things to you. I’m not exactly sure if they mean anything, but it surely is mind numbing. While he was on deployment, his ship made a stop in Portugal and he bought me this beautiful wooden trinket box with butterflies on it. He told me that it ‘spoke to him’. I was totally taken aback by this for I didn’t really ask for anything. Right before we said our goodbyes, he gave me a T-shirt of his that smelled just like him. I did, on a few occasions, comment that he smelled really good and that I was going to steal his cologne. So, he ended up giving me his cologne too. I was utterly surprised by that. Although I really really want to wear the shirt he gave me, I just can’t bring myself to wear it to bed. It makes me miss him too much.

So, my question is, (I’m trying my hardest not to be ignorant about men here), why would he (or any man for that matter) go out of his (their) way to buy me something from a foreign country, and give me his personal belongings? With the possibility of knowing that doing so makes a woman immensely happy and also possibly giving her false hope of a relationship? I’m racking my brain, trying to figure his actions. Is this how guys that seem to be really into you act, without wanting a monogamous, traditional relationship like you stated before? Thanks for your help!!

[Anonymous]

April, U are truly a genius, your advice is excellent and I did contact her. She seemed happy to hear from me, but now its just time for me to ask out on a date. I really want it to be something fun and special, something that she’ll remember. I just want to stand out from any other competition there may be, while staying true to me. One thing for me is like, while I’m really talkative, around her I sometimes find myself tongue tied and unsure of what to ask, or say to her. I’m gonna give her the rose or flowers for sure, because I’ve wanted to give her something before but I’ve never bought her anything because I thought maybe it was too much too soon.

[Anonymous]

Gurl u are just his side kick to lean on u be stupid if u believe that crap and game
He’s trying to pull on u right now u need to focus on ur baby and tell him that u don’t want
To be bother guys are going to be guys and f*ck orther chicks while u be home thinking
About him don’t do it to ur self be smarter then that besides u derserve better good
Luck and hope u do the right thing for ur self and ur new baby.. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Well I’m 20 and he’s 21. His sister was worried because, she has a one year old son named Adain. He was watching Adian one night for her and when she stopped by to pick him up, he asked if he could talk to her. She was worried because he never shares his feelings with her. He asked what it was like to have a kid and she answered him as best she could explain. He said he thought he was ready to have kids with me. He told her that he had fallen for me. She said you could tell he wasnt lying. He couldnt lie if his life depended on it. She told him that he should talk to me about it and see what I thought and felt about the subject. She said it worried her because he’s never talked about any of his past girfriends like he has me. I told her it was probably one of his mood swings. I told her she didnt have to worry, that he’d be okay. He came home and sat down and talked to me about it. He told me he was ready for us to have kids and he was ready to be with me forever. I didnt know what to say to him so i sat in silence and listened to him explain the way he felt about me. After he was through he gave me his cell phone and laptop and told me to look through it to make sure he wasnt lying to me. I don’t like to invade other people’s privacy. He was so sincere when he was talking about it I almost wondered if i should believe him. What if he’s not lying? What if he does want to get married and have kids? Will keeping my gaurd now affect my judgment later when I can take it down?

[Anonymous]

Thanks, I’ll attempt to get back in the game and contact her later today. I’ll definatley try to set up a date so we can spend some real time with each other and get to know each other more. I guess I have just been waiting for something to magically happen, but your right thats the wrong approach and the results haven’t been just low, lol they’ve been nonexistant.

[Anonymous]

Dear April,

You are amazing. I’m following your advice step by step. Emails started working, no more ignoring, even with nice conversations. I think things changed because i informed her earlier that i will no longer send her emails if she keeps ignoring me. It worked and i even get immediate replies.
Though she is replying in a nice way, she does not initiate the contact. Which is not a good sign.
One reason for change could be that she wants to keep the good work relation and the second reason could be that she is interested but taking it slowly.
Can you advise me on what might be the real reason behind this change.

Thank you.
Hans

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, and I’ll really try to remember all if this.
There were a few signs that he liked me I’m just not sure if there signs.
-His sister was going shopping and he didn’t wanna come till he knew I was.
-He gave me a hug and was sad once I left
-and he asked me to hang out in the next few days.
Now I may also be taking that the wrong way.
And your right about my friend I guess. No scratch the I guess, you are right. I wont tell her unless anything is definate though.
And as for my parents… Well ya.
Thank you so much, this really did help.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your reply. I feel exactly the same way, so it was nice to know I’m not the only one. I spoke to him briefly today about the issue (sidenote: he promised to call me, but ended up only talking to me online).

I tried to uncover why he feels so uncomfortable with discussing sex with me, but he only clams up. He claims to be embarrassed for some reason. He did say he feels insecure about his performance, but I reassured him that it takes practice to learn each other’s bodies and what works.

He is getting frustrated and defensive by my wanting to discuss the issue – says I’m “making a mountain out of a molehill”. He also said that I’m further pushing him away by continuing to bring the issue up.

ALSO, I should clarify about the porn site I found on his computer. It was more of a “hooking up” site, called Adult Friend Finder, with which you can chat and meet people in addition to looking at videos.

[Anonymous]

[quote=”April Masini”]I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. [/quote]

Thankyou, yes it has helped and given me somthing to think about. I will definatly come back soon if need be 🙂

[Anonymous]

“but its that he feels so strongly for him even though he acts like he dose.”

i ment that she feels so strongly. probly alot of other typos in there aswell sorry 🙄

[Member]

Posts