[Anonymous]

That helps a lot April.

I’m slowly accepting that it’s over.Although I still have some hope that she and her ‘mr.right’ might break up.I’ve seen and even read about that girls after a breaking up they start dating to move on,so I still have some hope that new relationship of hers won’t last long.

What is most bothering me right now that me and her used to be like best friends,talked everyday and always tell everything to each other,now without talking to her,feels awkward and it kills me,as much as I try I still think about her a lot and lot of things reminds me of her.
I’d like to believe that time doesn’t really matter, what matter is the intensity that things happened,for you have an idea,she was a mess when I left, according to her she never cried that much, and me and her sold things to buy her a plane ticket here,she was going to spend 2 months with me,plus a trip next summer to other country. and at the begging I was the one going there,she mentioned about renting an apartment for me and she would stay with me for a few weeks.

Unfortunately I’d like to know things,and some things that she did doesn’t make sense, like asking me if I’m moving on instead of just telling me,a few days before facebook show me that they were dating,she was the one texting me, and even at night when she was drunk,like she used to do it.Before our last fight that we haven’t talk since ( because after she telling me about mr.right I asked her for my stuff back and a stuffed animal that I was mine and I gave it to her ) even she saying that I’m annoying and saying bad things about me, she kept talking to me.

As we didn’t actually have a reason to break up (distance),and we were perfect together like our friend’s favorite couple,I kept thinking that there’s away to work things out. Moving on is being brutal,someday I’m ‘fine’ and other she’s the only thing I can think about it,and I get depressed,I don’t sleep,and trying to fix things seen easier. Some guy friends told me I should get drunk and forget about her,some that I should be her ‘platonic friend’, some girl friends,tell me that yes she might have moved on,and other for what I told them about us, that’s she’s playing games,and the new boyfriend thing is to drive me crazy (what she told me about how things happened didn’t make sense,like she was giving up on a bunch of things because of me,then 3 weeks later she’s dating one of her best friends saying he’s the love of her life,and the only day I actually acted like I moved on she kept asking things as if I moved on,my expectations about us,after my answer saying she’s ‘sorta’ moving and stuff, seen like she kept pushing to see if I was going to say something ).

I feel lost.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much April!

You are right, I need to get an attorney as soon as possible and start moving on. He’s rejected me and treated me so bad that I dont see how I could ever be happy in a relationship with him again. I’ll try to be strong.

I’ll give you an update when things get better.
Bye! 😉

[Anonymous]

Update:
We hung out tonight for 8 hours or so at a local bar, no job stuff. We made out before we split ways, but before it could go to the next level, she said I was the best male in her life and didn’t want to ruin this. I told her if anything worth having it’s worth having. She said she wasn’t sure and wanted to revisit this issue.

When I got home I got a call and we decided we are going to take it slow and keep it between us. If we feel we are really bonding, we will be open about it in a few months. There are alot of people in our business, both employees & competitors who could ruin us if it got out, especially if it was just a fling, so we are going to take it really slow and really private.

So i guess for anyone else in this situation, just take the person to a bar and if the person is into you she will hang with you, if she isn’t she wouldnt’ even be there. Am I safe to assume that? The only thing April that scared me was that she said I was the most important male in her life and her best friend, so I just 100% hope it works, as she is my best female friend (but not my best friend, as she doesn’t have many close relationships with friends as i do) and obviously don’t want our friendship which is amazing to be strained at all, but I also feel that if we connect like this we haev to at least take a shot rather than wasting more time in life.

[Anonymous]

April,

Thanks for your response! I asked her out 90% of the time and always paid.I thought that giving her space and not putting pressure on her was the respectfull thing to do considering she had just broken up with someone.We met by chance and neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time.As i got to know her and we started going out on dates i started having feelings for her.We are really perfect for each other,but when i tried to take things further she pulled back.

I ordered your book from amazon and look forward to reading it.I guess your saying i need to be more agressive?I was worried about turning her off with too much pressure.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your reply, it made sense 🙂
Well, I’m 20 and he’s 21. The thing is, we were both very comfortable with each other and we know each other’s most guarded secrets. There were some things i could talk about only to him, and he’d understand exactly how i felt, and he’d calm me down and almost instantly make me feel better. Basically we know each other inside out. I kind of want him to regret losing me. I don’t exactly regret it, but i do miss him sorely. He was one person i could always count on to give me the truth, irrespective of whether it hurt or not. He wasn’t the type of person who only said stuff if he really meant it.
I’m just scared that i will start comparing every new guy i meet to him. I can’t figure out if he was a jerk or if we just weren’t meant to be together. Part of me even wishes that we meet sometime in the far future and get together again, but maybe this is just because I miss him right now. I don’t know if i’m stupid to be thinking this way.
I have a feeling he’s moving on much faster than i am, though i have no way of knowing it. I do know that he doesn’t like to talk about it and that he’s working as hard as possible to get over the whole thing and keep it out of his mind, because this time we both know that there’s no turning back. I just don’t want him to write me off as just another female, because he did say I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he meant it. But does this mean that he didn’t want me or thought that he could do much better? His whole “i really do think you deserve someone better, someone who can give you what you need”, was it just an excuse or did he really feel that he did not deserve me?
There was never a moment of awkwardness between us. Even after we broke up, or decided that we would, we decided to hang out for the remaining three days we had together before i went home, and even then it was like we were trying to cling on to every last moment that we could share. It was as though we had never broken up! And both of us were dreading the moment when we’d finally have to say goodbye for once and for all. Since then we haven’t gotten in touch with each other. I did send him an email, but he didn’t reply. I didn’t really expect him to of course, because i was just venting my anger on him, and there was nothing he could possibly say in reply. But i kind of wished he’d try to get in touch.
I can only hope this decision was for our good.

[Anonymous]

[quote=”April Masini”]The best way to date an employee is to keep things very clean — in other words, don’t mix business and pleasure. It’s crazy for people not to date people they work with because since people spend so much time at work it’s very normal to meet attractive singles there. What I suggest is that when you ask her out you do it on non-company time. Don’t use your office e-mail or cell phone for socializing if possible. And keep the lines of communication very clear. As her boss, you run the risk of things go badly socially and she feeling that her business position is compromised as a result of your personal feelings for her — so avoid that scenario at all costs.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

And join me on Facebook! Here’s the link for AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url]. 😀[/quote]

I hung out with her Saturday with several of our mutual friends. We were flirting but at one point she tried to make me jealous by saying another guy was calling her and had to take the call. My other friend saw her phone and said it was her room mate calling her. I am assuming this is all a game, and now I am wondering if she is trying to test me.

Obviously there has to be something there when we hang out on non-work related weekends.

I am going to make my move this week, the only thing stopping me is that if she says no, my business can be ruined and it will kill the friendship entirely. And if my business is ruined it will kill profits and everything, so that is why it is risky and I haev to make sure if the answer is no, that my business won’t suffer.

[Anonymous]

I cant say I agree with that I dont want his family to think I am some freakazoid stalker and unless you have severe chronic pain its hard to say what it does to you.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion the best apology is the unconditional one.

Not “I’m sorry, but…” or “I’m sorry if…”

Just “I’m sorry” is a lot more genuine.

Jen

[Anonymous]

Well two sisters but right and he did say he would forgive me once i made up for his loss of business right I agree its hard for him to trust me again BUT I was in quite a bit of pain and dealing with a lot more than I could handle that wasn’t the only thing I was dealing with, should I explain this to his sister?

[Anonymous]

well that sounds good 🙂 but what if he decides to move before asking? should I go with him? I know that if we didnt work out (i hope we do though!!) that I would have a uncle just a hour away that i could stay with till I get back on my feet. He keeps telling me that he really wants me to move with him. Things seem to be going good also. (we used to fight a lot now not so much) and he tried to invite me out to his home town a couple months ago but I couldnt go because I couldnt get the time off.

[Anonymous]

Right yes he does love me this is why Im so frustrated and I am mad at myself, a journal is a good idea but should I write his sister a letter apology? Should I wait a while before I contact him? I just saw a recent photo of him and I miss him terribly. I sent him an email saying he looked handsome in the photo that I saw.

[Anonymous]

Well, thanks April for your advice, it’s certainly making me feel a bit better and more courageous! It seems that somehow making more of the stuff is not so bad as I thought it was.

Goldengun, I would never have thought any woman would actually like or ‘love’ it as you say. I know this woman has now been labelled a bad apple, but I remember that she didn’t mind so much about it being on her body, it was when it hit the wall behind the bed and also there was a big patch on the pillow. I don’t know but maybe the place where it went was the problem somehow? Maybe most women would not like it going everywhere? I’m a worrier, I know! But at least I know the amount doesn’t seem to be a negative thing. Thanks for putting my chin up again 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hey called for a date. I’m really excited, and I’m really hoping to maintain the same fluidity of conversation that we had the first time we met. Any tips on how to do that?

[Anonymous]

im going through the exact same things except we have two young children together. He tells me one day he loves me then the next that he hates me and is leaving me in a state I moved 1300 miles to be closer to his family for. So I probably need to take my own advice–but as the other people put it you are just shacking up and if he was serious about you –you would know it by now

[Anonymous]

This is my first real relationship, and definetly my first time I’ve had to break up with someone, so I’m just not sure how to do it.. Especially when it’s been 2 years and she still thinks I’m as happy as I was at day one…

[Member]

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