[Logan]

You asked what a healthy relationship is. I think it’s one where you feel “Safe”, “Seen”, and “Supported”. If you’re feeling is so “stuck” after the breakup, then maybe the relationship was more “dependency” and less “partnership”. In a healthy relationship, both partners maintain their own unique identities.
You stop trying to run away and accept the reality. Until you accept that yes, it hurts and it’s normal, you won’t be able to update to the new version.

[Logan]

Sean, confusion only happens when the other person hasn’t given you a clear “Yes.” If it’s not a ” Yes,” then for now, it’s a “No.” Don’t overthink it and ruin your peace of mind, ask directly or change signals!
You said, “I don’t want to make a move at the wrong time.” The truth is, there’s no such thing as the wrong time, only the wrong person. The longer you delay, the deeper you’ll fall into the friend zone.
I think you should make your position clear. Ask her out on a date that doesn’t feel like a friendly “hangout” but is clearly a date.
What’s your expert advice on this, AskApril? I’m waiting for your guide on how to handle this!

[Logan]

Hiii
When someone suddenly brings up this topic, it often means that they are already interested in someone else or maybe have a backup ready. They are just asking for your permission so that tomorrow they don’t have a burden on their conscience and can do everything openly.
And you are saying that you are failing awkwardly by asking directly, that is the real problem! If you are not comfortable enough with your partner to ask him What is our future, how will you bear the burden of an “open relationship”? Such relationships require a lot of courage and clear communication, which seems to be missing here.

[Logan]

Love does not mean that you sacrifice your self-respect and your intellect. Your “gut feeling” is your best friend. If you feel like he is lying, there is a 99% chance that he actually is.
You said that if you start apologizing, even when you aren’t at fault. This is called “gaslighting” in psychology. Instead of answering your questions, he puts you on the defensive. When you ask something, and he gets angry or makes you feel guilty, he is actually using the best defense is offense policy to hide his own wrongdoings.
You are simply with someone who is taking advantage of your innocence.

[Logan]

You’re both blaming each other. “You did this,” “You did that.” Change it to “I feel bad when.” When you show your weakness, the other person becomes soft instead of defensive.
And stop thinking, “I’m the man, so I should be the one to bend” or “Why should I bend?” This is not a competition. There is no man or woman in a relationship; there is a partner. If you take the initiative, you will not be small, but you will lead the relationship. Leading is real manhood, not just showing ego.
Take a little risk, put a little ego aside, and start chasing her again as you did 6 years ago.

[Logan]

You are suffering from ‘Emotional Constipation’. When you keep things bottled up inside, they rot inside, and then when they explode, it feels like an explosion, not communication.
A girl doesn’t want ‘clear understanding’, she wants consistency. If you erupt like an emotional volcano every two months, of course, she’s going to feel awkward!
I think be a little “alpha” but with a little ‘soft’ touch. Don’t add tension by tagging the conversation as serious talk, just say it casually, ‘Listen, there was something on my mind, I thought I would share it.
Ask April, what do you think about this?

[Logan]

It’s the “she’s cute but confused” thing; usually, it’s a one-sided soft response.
And anyway, if a girl is really interested, she won’t put you through the guess game
She’ll make an effort, give hints, and sometimes it’ll be pretty obvious.
Ask April needs your expert advice because the situation has become a bit confusing. The atmosphere is nice, but there are no clear signals. Sometimes it seems like she’s interested, and sometimes it feels like she’s just politely distancing herself.
Tell me the truth: is this just hesitation, or a clear signal that the interest isn’t that strong? And in such a case, should the guy wait a bit or start thinking about moving forward now?

[Member]

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