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April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › HOT AND COLD. WHAT IS UP WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR?

HOT AND COLD. WHAT IS UP WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR?

April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › HOT AND COLD. WHAT IS UP WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR?

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  • January 10, 2010 at 11:12 am #1815
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    We are both married and work together. We’ve been sinfully flirting among other things (no sex), and tried to quit many a times. It started with flirty emails and then him taking me home or we work a bit late alone in the office. Every time we attempt to stop, we mail each other again and we both miss the chatting. THen we start all over again. Before I left for vacation a few weeks ago, we decided it was to be the last rendezvous (only touching) and not talking about it either. It would STOP. When I returned after 2wks away last Monday, during the course of the day, a guyfriend called to the office while I was out and he mailed me the message and wanted to know if he was an ex lover? I responded with a NO and asked him for the guys number on his call id. For the rest of the day he seemed angry and distant. I felt bad and mailed him about a gift I gave him. He didn’t respond.I felt bad co’s he neva did that before but, I figured it was betta that way. Now everyday he keeps on pulling my hair playfully, kicking my chair as he walks past, watching my phone when I am on a call, stares when he thinks I am not looking, looks at me for afew seconds we keep the eye contact ,trips me playfully.Yet, he doesn’t mail me at all like he used to before. This happens 5/6 times a day. I can’t ignore it, but I can’t make heads or tails of it either?

    January 10, 2010 at 7:52 pm #12347
    katdawg
    Participant

    If you are married why are you more concerned about a man in your office who has hot and cold behavior rather than being concerned about your spouse sitting at home? Do you have an open marriage where you can see, flirt, develop feelings for someone outside your relationship? Would you be okay with your spouse having the same behaviors you’re acting out? How would you feel if he came home and told you he had been flirting with a woman at his work place, but the flirting went a step further and he has committed adultery? It sounds like you wanting to push your limits and are hoping for more than just flirting otherwise you wouldn’t be so concerned with this.

    If you want to be with this man at your office why not do the right thing and leave your husband first IF you don’t have children. IF you have children you should really take a look and get help for your why you are behaving this way.

    January 11, 2010 at 3:20 pm #12201
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Your lover’s behavior is hot and cold because your relationship is hot and cold. Your flirting is hot and your acknowledgement that you’re both married to other people makes it cold. That’s the nature of what you have, have always had, and will probably continue to have.

    He’s stopped e-mailing you because the two of you agreed not to rendezvous any more. He’s kicking your chair and staring at you because he misses not having those rendezvous’.

    It’s really pretty simple.

    The ball is in your court and you have to decide if you want to continue the status quo, break off the office flirtation and affair as it is, or dive further into what you have together, risking your marriage, and maybe his, too. Your call.

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