It’s difficult to know whether this affair is the real thing or a symptom of the problems you’re having in your marriage. Since you have 18 years in your marriage and two children, and it sounds like you and your wife have just faded away and stopped connecting, (there’s no trauma, abuse or real criticism, just boredom), it may be worth a shot to rejuvenate your family life. This situation is very normal. Long-term relationships and marriages are tough to sustain and they take work. If you don’t do the work, they fade like yours has. But, if you love your wife and want to try and make your marriage work, you can. It would be interesting to know if she wants to work on the marriage as well. Sometimes it just takes one of you to pick up the ball and get things going. But if she’s also looking for the exit door, that would be good to know as well. I think that because you have such an investment in your marriage, it would be a good idea to give it real try — and if it doesn’t work, then you can leave knowing you really tried. The worst situation would be leaving with regrets, so try and do what you need to do to avoid those.
.
