My boyfriend & I are Juniors in college at different, but nearby schools. We’ve been surprisingly great at making it work, but for a while I’ve had an urge to break up with him to do my own thing. Over time its grown stronger, and now the pressure I feel to do something is overwhelming and exhausting.
Maybe because if we keep going the way we are we’ll probably get married and part of me just wants to be 20 for a little. But at the same time, our relationship is still amazing; he treats me well, the sex is fire, he’s smart, fun, cute, and such a wise person. He’s my best friend & a good dude. My one complaint is that my parents and college friends don’t really know him like I do; he’s quiet before he gets comfortable with people & he’s not comfortable with my parents. Which is disappointing, but not totally deal breaking.
But Half the fun of our relationship has been growing up with him! It’s made us closer which not a lot of LDR couples can say! But I do also feel like I’ve been using him as a shield. It would be in my best interest to experience some of the vulnerability that comes with figuring out who I am on my own terms.
I’ve talked to him about this and he’s been understanding (we’re great at communication), but he has made it clear that if I end things we are done for good. Which I can respect. So my question is: which will I regret less? Ruining an amazing relationship with my best friend in the world? Or not spending my 20s figuring out who I am? I know this isn’t a decision that you can make for me – I just don’t know what to do