[Anonymous]

A couple things I forgot to mention:

My brother and I are not close at all. In fact, I barely consider us acquaintances. We had a falling-out when I was a teenager, and I avoided him for years. Now we’re on “ok” terms and see each other a few times a year (holidays), but that’s about it. So I personally am not bothered by the fact that this guy is my brother’s friend, and my brother wouldn’t be “protective”.

Not only are we not emotionally close; we’re not physically close. My brother lives a few hours away from me and his friend. So I’m not cutting into their “hanging out” time by hanging out with the friend. I think they see each other once every couple of months.

[Anonymous]

How am I suppose to break up with him, are there any ways I can do it and still be friends with him?

[Anonymous]

We are 27 and we each live with our family. We don’t intend on living together before marriage.

[Anonymous]

It’s so hard to make this decision because I basically have one of the sweetest, caring, handsome, and honest boyfriend… and my family loves him. I just feel very sad because he even cries and tells me how much he loves me & how he is willing to make our relationship work and to make me happy again. However, I’m still keeping in touch with my guy friend. We hang out today since we’re on spring break- but as friends. Nothing awkward happened. Looks like he’s over what happened b/c he was texting some girls. We might hang out again because He is leaving in a month to Iraq. Should I stop hanging out with my guy friend? April, if i decide to give this guy, my boyfriend, a chance to make me happy, do you think it’ll would work? Should tell him what I did?

[Anonymous]

You need to come from a position of strength and you are coming from a position of weakness — crying and asking him for more time, as if you are the supplicant. If the situation were reversed, you might feel turned off by the neediness of the other person and want to withdraw or spend time away from them. Being with someone isn’t a numbers game — how much time is spent together — rather it’s the quality of the time not the quantity that’s important. Remember that you two are dating — and make sure it’s fun! Then you don’t have to ask for more time — he’ll just want more! 😀

You say you sulk and cry and shut yourself off and you aren’t the easiest person to be with. 😳 Not exactly a picture of someone who most people would want to spend time with. [b][i][u]Change yourself, not him.[/u][/i][/b] Start planning more time with your girlfriends. Take a class. Get interested in yourself and your life. Schedule one less get-together with him a week so you have more time to develop your pursuits. Be [i]authentically[/i] busy with your life. And don’t talk to him about it anymore — just do it — casually, charmingly and nicely. He doesn’t have to know your every thought about him and the relationship and about your plans. 💡

Just let go a tiny little bit. You sell yourself short by saying you think you are an obligation to him. You then start to focus on that and communicate that’s what you are. You are not an obligation — but really, it’s dating — just remember to keep it light and keep it fun. The rest will fall into place.

[Anonymous]

The question is [i]what[/i] do you want? You just don’t want him to spend more time with you, right? If he spent 11 hours at your house instead of 6, would everything be better?

So ask yourself, what exactly, you want from him…specifically.

Seeing each other 2-3 times a week for a couple hours each time is [i]normal[/i] for most relationships.

So how do you define ‘commitment’? Is coming over to see you several times a week not a commitment to you? How can he be ‘more serious’?

You have a lot of questions to answer….

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if I can date my boyfriend knowing that I kissed someone else… how does that wwork? Will I still ne thinking about it? Idk of I can live with it. .

[Anonymous]

well “yes” you should have closed his information…but now you have to ask yourself…are you ready for the possible consequences if you decide to confront him….He will try to turn it back on you and say that he can’t trust you because you snooped….but you can’t trust him because he lied….so my personal opinion would be to present him with the ? and ask him again and if he says NO…I don’t talk to other women not even my xxx …you have given him enough opportunities to come clean…but when you ask him again let him know that if he says that he has…you might be upset but yall can try to get past it …maybe this approach will let him know that he can come to you with anything..and maybe the both of you can start to rebuild your trust….only if he promises to leave all of that mess in the past… I pray that whatever you decide that you will have peace in the matter…because i was in a relationship with a man who cheated under my nose…lied repeatedly until I showed him the proof…I won’t disclose how I got it but I definitely did my homework b’cuz I didn’t want to continue to waste years being lied to……some men change and some don’t…so give it a try to see what the outcome will be…always know that you have to love yourself and know that whatever come of this that you have to look our for your best interest first 😆

Peace & Blessings

[Anonymous]

good point there!! 😛 [quote=”April Masini”]Now, for women who date men who live at home…. what are you thinking?! 😯 Unless there’s some very good reason for a man to be living with his mother (like a crisis or emergency situation), a grown man living with his mother is NOT boyfriend or husband material. So don’t waste your time dating guys who live at home and then complain about them.

Date [b]smart[/b] and don’t blame anyone — but yourself!

[/quote]

[Anonymous]

what is it with grown men living with their mothers. ???? too many broken homes where the mother take custody and the father isn’t there to TEACH HOW TO BE A MAN!!! c’mon! really, to all mothers out there with sons…let their fathers teach them how to be men. it will really save a lot of other women from woosies!!

[Anonymous]

thank you, April. it is an eye opener, disappointment, and a lesson. i should know better! if a man isn’t ready to talk openly about it and not shy away from it he obviously isn’t mature enough for me. and i need to get some balls and be clear about what i want. life is too precious for games, games i’m not willing to play.

[Anonymous]

i have a ma fiance in jail cuz one of his freinds likes him he dont liker he told her to leave her alone but she wont she put a restrainign oreder on him so she changed her number and texted him and dint stop she kept bugging so she call cops and he in jail but wat can i do ? i mean he has prove but he broke it by replying bak to her she dropped the charges now what ?

[Anonymous]

It does sound like she was interested at first, but I think you’re still kind of approaching this the same way as before. Just stop chatting on Facebook unless she initiates, and the next time you see her, say hey, ask if she has a minute, and explain that you’d like to go out. Personally, I think it’s adorable when a guy tells me I make him nervous or he has a hard time talking around me – it shows me he’s willing to be honest despite his embarassment. but feel out the situation for yourself. Just say it – I’d like to take you out to dinner. They’re just words, and you have at LEAST a 50/50 chance, since there are only two answers, but it sounds like she was interested, so I’d say more than that 😉 Worst case scenario: she says no, you walk away having worked up the balls to ask a girl out once, and therefore can do it again. Good luck, and remember that we’re fleshy bags of blood too – no monsters here! No girl is going to rip your head off for asking her out – unless she’s a real jerk, in which case you are much better off not investing time/emotion in her.

[Anonymous]

thankyou, i took your advice and i think its working. i went to his house for his birthday party and when he tried something i said no. since then we have just been talking like the good friends we used to be. it sounds weird but i feel happier now knowing we can be friends; my girlfriends have also noticed that i seem a lot less stressed now! its great!

[Anonymous]

I shouldn’t tell him even if there is a good chance we may get back together in the future?

[Member]

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