[Anonymous]

Well, he’s only had sex/done anything else with her. And she was his first. He’s like my best friend, and we tell each other everything so I would be the first to know if he was lying about it. So I’m his second partner. We’re being safe, no worries there. But I just, I don’t know if I should wait around? I mean we’ve kinda already established a relationship so to me if feels weird to try and meet anyone else… Plus I’m interested in him (obviously)… So I guess I could use some advice on that. I feel bad for continuing what we have going on, but it feels normal…

[Anonymous]

The only thing is I’ve been at school for a month and prior to that we were together most days throughout the summer and she has came to visit me and spent the night here multiple times. So that is why I am confused because we have been seeing each other and spent a lot of time together then she just flipped for no reason. So should I just let it go and see if she really wants me back or try to talk to her. Not meeting isn’t the problem because we went to the same high school and for the past months have been together a lot.

[Anonymous]

What? Of course he’s not living with me in my parents house and they don’t know… I have had my own place for the last year and a half.

He has not gone to college, but is working on his career in business.

[Anonymous]

Actually my parents have met him at a dinner we put together. They know how old he is and no. We did not meet threw school. He is from a totally prestigious university and I am attending another. If that was the case id never take the option of dating a professor from my school. It could ruin his career and get both of us in serious trouble. Vise verse for his family as well. Ive met his family members and they know how old I am and theyre very understanding and happy for us. His son on the other hand is younger than me hes 8. He hasnt introduced me to him because the psychiatrist suggested that he shouldnt introduce any of his partners to him until a year later so incase things dont go right he hasnt grown attached to me and wont be upset if I stop showing up. Which I am 100% okay with because I really wouldnt want my dad bringing home another woman with the hope of maybe my parents getting back together. Also, he has never forced me to do anything I dont want to do. We havent done anything sexual if thats what your thinking.

[Anonymous]

weve been dating for 6 months now

[Anonymous]

I apologize for that April.
I think with all my friends saying she’s interest in get back,she’s being flirtatious and everything else I think I got sidetracked by that.
I’ve decided that I was going to gradually step away from her,so me and her get used to that until a point where there’s no more contact with each other. I noticed by doing that, if I try to get closer to her,she moves away and if I try to move way she gets closer.
She sent me texts really late night,around 3am, she didn’t reply back,next morning she tells me that was if I’ve seen her ex. I told her before I’m barely getting any sleep lately, and she woke me up last night, we argued and she said she wouldn’t be texting anymore. So I hope my problems with her are over now.

[Anonymous]

Can I get this book through Amazon? Is it available in local bookshops? 🙂
I currently locate in Sri Lanka, that’s the issue April

[Anonymous]

Hi April,

Thank you for your reply 🙂 We are 22 years old and when I said he “made plans to marry me”, it meant that he stated out a plan whereby after he graduates, he’ll work for 2-3 years and save up as much as he can so he can buy us a house and give me the dream wedding that I’ve always wanted.

I might be a little oversensitive (because I tend to be so) and an extremely insecure person. I’m afraid that if I let my guards down I’ll get hurt (just like what happened to my previous relationship, I let my guard down totally but I got very hurt in the end, it was a traumatic experience). As a result, I’ve become kinda paranoid, suspicious and always reading too much into things. I feel very tired and lethargic cause of such behaviours 🙁 And at times I feel very bad because my boyfriend seemed very positive about our relationship and I did ask him why doesn’t he seem to worry that I might like someone else or things like that. He said he believed in himself, and so that means he believes in me too and has faith in me and our relationship. Sometimes I really envy his positive attitude. Before we got together as a couple, I’m the very cheerful and bubbly girl and my boyfriend loves my smiles. But now, I’ve become rather negative and constantly wondering when he’ll have a change of heart, hence giving myself unnecessary panic attacks.

I feel ashamed of myself because I tried telling my boyfriend about these concerns and he assured me time and again, with patience that I have to be positive and have faith and trust in him. I would really love to trust him but there seems to be this prick in my heart that prevents me from doing so. I just want to protect myself as much as I can. Sometimes I feel so bad about myself that I told my boyfriend he should leave me & find someone better because I can’t give him the kind of happiness he desires and he has many friends & lots of activities in which he can derive his happiness from, he doesn’t need me. And again, he told me he only loves me and only I can give him the type of happiness that other people and things can’t. April, I’m feeling so bad about myself that I feel tortured by it and to some extent, I may even need to seek therapy. 😥

[Anonymous]

thanks April!

[Anonymous]

We are both 20 years old and we didn’t necessarily date, it was more like a casual thing, but in the process feelings were developed. I know there was an initial strong attraction, but I have no clue what created the downward spiral.

[Anonymous]

cold feet, yes, I think so.

I don’t know if it’s a bad idea or not. In lesbian terms, waiting 7 months to move in is a long time! 🙂 lol. And it is like marriage in our world. Those 7 weeks we spent together, we were living together. She stayed with me for three weeks, me with her for a month. When I was at her place, there were some issues but mostly because of the neighborhood she lived in. She loves where I live. Practically, there is not much that can be done if we want to stay together but move. She is 2500 miles away, we have no money to see each other more than say twice a year and I get very ill flying not to mention there is no way I could move to where she is with my job and her living in the middle of nowhere (I mean nowhere!). She is also moving out here to get a job and start a new life in a bigger city; she hates where she is. I suppose she could get her own place here but, again, $$$. Well…thanks everyone for the advice. I think it is cold feet and not anything else like not loving her enough or being interested in someone else or something. I’ll just see what we can do. Maybe she’ll move in until she finds a job and then if we need to have our own places, but that would be difficult to go backwards. Anyway, I figure if she hasn’t begun packing in a week or two maybe she has cold feet too and then, well, plan B. Cry a lot. I truly do love her a lot and both of our hearts would be broken I think if it doesn’t work.

peace!

[Anonymous]

Can I do something as a quick move to compensate on what I did. I mean any other way of making him feel that I’m ready for a date with him. please i need a quick response…. thanks 😕

[Anonymous]

Hi April, it’s me again .. I apologize for the very long post, I didnt realize how long it was.. I hope you find time to read it.. your advise is really important to me .. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Well, i will give you some details. We live 2 hrs by flight away. Last year, at a fund raising dinner, he was there with his family and i was there with mine. He noticed me but did not have the courage to talk to me and i honestly did not notice him… however facebook is an easy means to find anyone and we became a couple in Feb this year.

due to his very demanding job, he just came to see twice in our 5 mnths as a couple. He can fly over i cant. At the time i was doing my internship and had already taken a week off b4 becoming a couple. I also had to work on saturdays so flying over the weekend was not an option.

He has a very good job and he loves it. Our conflict started when i was about to start a 2 yr graduate program in my city and he wanted me to move to his place by next summer. He was not encouraging and was selfish. I dont mind moving to his city but i wanted to complete my studies first. honestly, if i had to choose between him or my masters, i would choose my masters but i wanted both. All this time he had plans that i would move by next summer to his place and completely disregarding that i have my own plan and ambition to finish first. He talked to me several times abt not starting it and moving to his city. I honestly wanted to move with him and live together and get to knw him more, i hated the long distance and i used to wait for him and count the days till his nxt visit.

My family met him but did not like him.. they never told me till after us breaking up. they thought he was a controling person and were afraid of him hurting me.
Well i broke up with him bcs he indirectly insulted the way my family think ( i can let go of this part)
told me that if i moved in that the house cleaning would be on me as if im some housekeeper,
and was ready to play some kind of sneaky game on my dad and actually asked me to be a part of it!!!!!!

shock fear and tension thats hw i felt for 3 weeks till i broke it off. and now hes trying to talk to me in getting back saying he was sorry and that he didnt mean what he has said and that he loves me so much and is depressed without me and that love can overcome anything even this and with time i will forget wat he has said bcs he will do anything i want and is going to wait for me to finish my studies.
and the excuse for his talk…so c how far i will go for him cos he thought i must love him for him and to see how much im ready to go for him!!!

thats it actually and thnx for your interest..and sorry for the long post i tried t kepp it short :S

[Anonymous]

Hi April
I am 25 and he is 26. I am just afraid of letting go of how great we were. If he can’t be happy without me, should I just let him see how that really is?
He is scared we wont work out and are wasting our time, but it feels like we are still together. He still talks to my brother, and calls me every other day.

I am just confused. I understand that guys need space sometimes and the wedding could have freaked him out since we were having issues and were planning on forever. And there isn’t a physical relationship right now. Is it really right to walk away completely?

[Member]

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