[Anonymous]

I saw your post and I had to respond….

I actually had done this as well (in my past). Honestly, while I don’t know her reasons….there may be something deeper to it. My fiance actually found out – because he knew a friend of a friend of a friend. He knew that I slept with this person 3 yrs before we even met. However, he didn’t know it was him and another guy. So apparently, they were all out together and started talking – and whoops – he found out. We actually broke up for 6 months over it – but honestly, there were reasons for why I did that – one of which, having fun – but reasons that I have not even openly admitted to myself – let alone another person.

I’m a good, loyal, honest, respectful woman and would NEVER do that again. Everyone makes mistakes and have skeletons in her closet. You can’t fault her for this – and I’m sure that you have done some things in your past that she may not like/agree with – but if you really care about her, then you will give her a chance. If you feel like you need to talk to her to move past it – then explain how you feel and ask questions if you need to. But be advised, some of the answers may not be what you want to hear – so tread lightly, because sometimes the unknown (especially the specifics) is better in a case like this.

If she’s not continuing this behavior currently, then I wouldn’t say that you have anything to worry about right now. Like I said, I went through that stage (being “ho-ish), but that was in my early 20s and I was learning about myself and my sexuality. I’m almost 30, and I know what I want and what I need – and that’s the man I am going to marry! Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

We are both 25

[Anonymous]

I dont know exactly when, but it was in the past, i believe years ago.

[Anonymous]

Thanks April,
I guess I just wondered what you thought about a guy saying that “he can’t handle a committment” right now. He has told me time and time again about this issue he has (I know he has struggled with the divorce of his parents), but why would he go see this other girl and not me? There is no question that he is totally in to me and adores me….could he really be avoiding me so that things can’t be taken to the next level (when I confronted him this is what he said….and that he’s afraid)? Could this fear really exist or is it bull?

[Anonymous]

ummmmm I would say i dont blame her for wanting him in her life—-she is much older than you—and she is the person she is today because of past relationships…he is obv important to her…. BUT…pls make sure you are not just filling a void for her because her ex is emotionally unavailable due to being bipolar…. do you think she still loves him more than a friend—-be honest with yourself when u answer this queation….do you think she would still be with him if he wasnt bipolar? If so—-you need to tell her its all or nothing–she cant have her cake and eat it too…well she can…but its up to you if u want to live like that. Just make sure she truly wants to be with you and that she is over her ex for sure—and the best way to find out is ask.

[Anonymous]

hmmmm….sex can be a big issue for women….if she feels as though she slept with you too early…she may feel like you have different expectations from her etc…. If i were you—cool it on the sex—and focus on getting to know eachother—–sex is great—- but if u move too fast it can cause problems—-i would say to freak out—she obv diggs you—- just back track a bit and go on a sweet date—-like picking apples or carve pumpkins—just chill out and things will come together

[Anonymous]

hey guys….i know I wrote a lot—-but I would appreciate the advice from the guys too. I am a really good judge of character—–and I know this guy is a great person and is very honest with me…. almost too honest….but I really would like to know what you think of this fear to get close to me — yet he is open to csial flings with girls that he knows are too far away to have relationships with–and with me—he is scared to get too close—alothough we are so close and perfect for each other ???????? And this feeling is not one sided…. I know this for a fact.

[Anonymous]

it seems like he has a very strong temper…be careful of that! How old are you guys? Ps check out my question too—any advice for me? I just posted…

[Anonymous]

Yeah we did do something tonight but all she kept talking about was this new guy she worked with and she barely wanted to touch me at all I mean I don’t bring up any females I work with at all but she seems to always talk about him

[Anonymous]

WOW, that stinks first of all and I am sorry you are going through that.

I’d have to say it’s obvious he has found someone else and is a coward making this big an effort to avoid you.

Find someone else to date ASAP to start getting over him.

Guys will say anything when they are happy getting laid, 9 months is not a long relationship, so I hope you can cope and get involved with someone new soon.

Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Hi, sounds to me like you should find a bisexual girlfriend for both of you to share instead of you both straying behind each others backs, or perhaps together pick up ladies for 3somes as the ‘need’ arises for you both.
If open minded that might be fun for you both.

[Anonymous]

Hey Im new here
Hey my names, valuesuit Im 16 and have a amazing spectucalr life I love TLK everyone of them, its hard to make up mind wicth one I like the most. I have been a furry for as long as I can remmeber I love this site and hope post here a lot

[Anonymous]

well, she fell through on putting money down on a deposit. so we broke up as I can’t do long distance, and she has no money to get her own place here, not to mention she put my housing in jeopardy. guess the cold feet wasn’t wrong after all.

thanks again, April.

[Anonymous]

Hi April,
Wanted to give you an update. I told him that I need an answer. Either we are together and fixing our relationship because we love eachother and want to be together forever or we need to stop talking. I told him this last tuesday, and didnt talk to him til he called me. When he called on friday he appologized for taking so long to realize how worth it our relationship is. He loves me and knows we can work through our problems and it is worth it since we are supposed to be together. He wants to move home and get our relationship back on track to where we were going (marriage, etc.).

Thanks for your help 🙂

[Anonymous]

I’m 44 and she is 33.
My plans are marriage eventually…I think the only thing holding me up is a commitment to our relationship on her end, namely the facebook incident..basically, i don’t believe I’d have looked up an ex-girlfriend seeing how i’m involved with my current one….I’m just not sure if she has a genuine commitment, although she says that she doesn’t believe in divorce and that once you’re married, then that is it..you are with that partner forever. She is a good person..it’s just that there are these times where it seems that she wants to persue these “friendships” with guys in particular..I guess that’s what I’m wondering about..if I’m being overly suspicious or not.

[Member]

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