[Anonymous]

i started reading these posts because i’m having trust issues and yours struck me as the point of view my own boyf must be having. but to focus on your issue, it speaks volumes to your merit that you’re concerned about hurting your girlf. you are not a bad person. now let me get straight to the point.
i won’t advise you on what to do. i will only give you a very real prediction. you and your girlf will not work out in the end. you are only 20 and this is only the first time you’ve confronted this situation. this is all part of the learning curve. you will realize that you have to be fair to your amazing girlfriend And to yourself. by the time your my age (28), you’ll realize how these situations develop and how to avoid them. by the time you’ve got your long-term amazing person figured out, you’ll realize that these situations are Always circulating….and that there’s a reason monogomous married people don’t hang with the opposite sex Alone.
monogomy is difficult, so to make it work, you have to let MANY opposite sex friendships fizzle out. no one gets Everything in life. you will always have to compromise. alternatively, you could choose to be different, be monogomous AND be able to sustain opposite sex friendships that don’t infrindge on the quality of your relationship….(sounds great?)….but these are the people who usually find out that, although they’ve been entirely trustworthy, Your partner ends up having the emotional, or sexual, affair.
it’s tough! but keep your integrity and honesty a top priortity and you won’t have any regrets. and that’s all you can really hope for…no regrets.

[Anonymous]

From my point of view I dnt think its a prob.. It all depends on both ur mentalities.. Coz there is a huge age gap – u might have diff hobbies and priorities in life..

However – it is always better for the girl because she tends to get pampered and taken care of by the guy..
That also goes for the future (if ur planning to get married or sth).

[Anonymous]

anyone??

what can i do??

[Anonymous]

It might be worth a try but it his lead. I love him and dont want to pressure him. I see what you are saying about the red flag and thank you but it could be possible we can work through this. These are thoughts I was already having and Ive been honest. Expressed myself but not to the point where I push him away. I guess time will tell. Thank you again.

[Anonymous]

What April Said. Also Yes from a legal standpoint take proof of who she lives with and provides for her. School Records, receipts, things of that nature. That is one reason not to get rid of receipts for about 7 or more years. If you do not have a child support/custody papers indicating who should claim your child. Go to court and get it done. Don’t worry about hireing a lawyer. Sometimes the courts do have good ones but If you think her father might try n screw you on things def look at getting one.

[Anonymous]

Well the first 2 years were pretty eventful in a dark way… and after that we didnt know where we stood with each other so were kinda housemates with benefits, although i would have loved to tell her how i really felt but found it hard to say things like ‘i love you’ (i know i have issues lol) and she never really told me how SHE was feeling either. so it just stayed ‘comfortable’ til 2 weeks ago when she left.

I was blinkered when she was here and was prob a bit scared of comitment too. but now i would quite happily propose to her if i thought that would be accepted, but i think we need to wipe the slate clean and have a proper relationship first.

I spoke to her on the phone today for an hour and 15! I told her everything i was feeling and she said she already knew because she knows me. she mentioned that she doesnt have many friends around and found it hard to be bothered to get out of bed. she sounded down and hurt, it seems she has lost a lot by moving out (a place to call home, her job, people we used to go to the pub with etc) and she seems to have put up the barriers of not wanting to be hurt again, she said she couldn’t promise me anything so i said ‘i dont want any promises, i just want a chance to show you how i feel instead of you just hearing the words or reading the texts’

she says she has no other romantic interest and said – to be honest shes not even considered thinking of other relationships right now.

it seems she has retracted into her shell because ive taken her for granted for so long that ive hurt her. i just need to find a way of proving i will never hurt like this or take her for granted again.

its her birthday on sunday

[Anonymous]

Thanks a ton April and Megz..that really helped.
Especially the part about him being my soulmate..i can see where i was going wrong.
I have atleast planned to indulge in things that make me happy..
I hope i see better days..
Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

i am 20 and he’s 22.
The problem is that the beginning was so outstandingly amazing that i believed he is my soulmate. And so did he.
Even people who knew us could see that what we have has the potential to last forever.
Knowing all this..i don’t think i will be able to settle with someone else happily..ever and i can’t let go of this thing.
i am going through a very bad phase right now and i don’t know how to think about life without him. i was into this deeply and so was he. but he says he has drifted apart and now all i do is think of ways to bring everything back on track. i have no clue how to stop doing this.

[Anonymous]

[color=#BF00FF]i think you should tell him. If you don’t, he may feel like you lied to him, or that you are keeping more secrets. Hope this works out! 🙂 [/color]

[Anonymous]

help april.
🙁

[Anonymous]

No dont talk to him you will be just another stupid girl he can use. Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

The fact that he remembers tiny details say that he is a genuine guy..
but him asking you about how far would u have let him go..is a little wierd
chances are that he might just be interested in sex ..probably because he’s bored of his life or rather the “family” life..with the baby
i suggest you talk to him for a while..but only on friendly terms..
and see if he talks abt the physical thing again..which will mean the obvious!

[Anonymous]

Oops, sorry, I hadn’t realized I posted this in the wrong place, I really am sorry. I’m obviously new to this sort of thing….but I hope to become more familiar with forum environments. However, my mistake wasn’t so bad, YannaJLay made a lot of sense, and I appreciate that, thank you for your advice, it makes me think about things a little differently. I’m feeling a bit sleepy at the moment, so I’m not going to type an exceptionally long reply right now, but I have listened to the advice you’ve given me YannaJLay, and I have re-posted my story using the link you gave me kai, thanks so much for your time.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I agree that this is my issue and I am trying to work on it. I understand that you can’t help how you feel about someone. You can only control your actions and if my boyfriend thinks I’m the best one for him, than anyone else will be a passing infatuation. I have never asked my boyfriend to not contact this woman because I know I have no right to do that. I do believe that despite any strong feelings he had for her in the past, they have faded, if not left and that if he did see her again it would be nothing more than an attraction, or a memory of the past. He’d still love me because I’m here now and she’s the past.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Sorry!

[Member]

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