Is my boyfriend a loser?

Yes. Your boyfriend is a loser. He doesn’t deserve you. But that’s not all. When you dropped out of college in spite of close to a quarter million dollars in scholarship money awards, you joined him. Now you’ve realized your mistake, and it’s time to correct that. I can help you, but you have to be strong.

I need you to understand 2 dating rules. The first is that women should not chase men. Big mistake. Gigantic. It never works when they do. So after you break up with this guy (sorry, but that’s part of my prescription for getting you back on track), you may not chase another man again. The good guys want to be “the man” in the relationship, and they want to chase “the prize” and win it. That prize is you, my dear. If you follow this rule, you will weed out all the men who don’t want you enough to win you over.

Second, you may think you love him, but regardless of what he says, he doesn’t act like he loves you. When a man loves you, he will want the best for you, as well as for himself. There is no way you were going to be happy moving in with him, and becoming his sugar mama as well as his surrogate mother, cleaning up after him. He knew that deep down, but invited you to move in with him anyway. You were blinded by feelings and forgot to use that brain that got you all that scholarship money to realize the discrepancy between what your boyfriend said and what he did. And when you say you love him, what is it you love about a man who won’t get a job, lift a finger to help out around the house, and lets his girlfriend give up a college education to support him?? Is this really who you want to spend the rest of your life with and have him father your children? I don’t think you should spend another five seconds with this guy based on the way he’s treated you.

So, learn those 2 rules: don’t chase men and learn what love looks like.

Now, you have to contact your school on Monday, and tell the admissions officer what a mistake you made, what you’ve learned, and that you want to go back to school and enroll full time. As soon as you get the go ahead, you pack up, and get back to school. Hopefully, it’s not too late for you to enroll in this semester. And if it is too late, get back on campus, do intern or volunteer work until you can enroll at the start of the following semester.

No excuses. Do it.

Find housing, preferably on campus and make a bunch of good women friends. You’re going to need female support to get through the break up and the big move back to school. After you’re settled, you are required to click on the Dating Advice Books link at the top of this page and order my book, Think & Date Like A Man, and read it! In fact, read it aloud with your new roommates. Start a book club and make your friends get the book and read it with you…and discuss! You need to understand and learn what you want from a man, from a relationship and yourself, and then you have to learn how to execute your dating life so that you get what you want and don’t end up with another loser boyfriend.

I want you to finish college in four years, and make that your main goal. And I want you to check in with me as you start dating other men, and ask me for advice along the way. I want to make sure you stay on track. Don’t cut off from your family and friends again.

As for your boyfriend, if you think you’re still in love with him, you can take his calls, but don’t initiate any. Not one. You can take his texts, but wait a day to text him back, and only one text a day. If he wants to visit you, that’s fine — but [i]only[/i] after he’s repaid you and your parents in full for all the money he’s borrowed, and the checks have cleared. (What on earth possessed your parents to lend him money?? I’m stumped by that one.) And if he does, by some miracle, pay you and your parents back, then, and only then, he may visit you, but you are not to put him up. He can pay for a hotel room. And don’t “hang out” with him — only agree to see him if he takes you on a proper date. And he pays, not you. If he wants you, he’s going to have to do some changing, and I’m guessing he doesn’t want you enough to make those changes. And if you don’t believe me, try it, and see if he’ll actually get a job, initiate the calls and visits without you enabling him.

You made a mistake by dropping out of school and moving in with him. Now fix the mistake. You [i]can[/i] do it. We all make mistakes, but what we do next is what makes losers big winners. Be a winner. You’ve got it in you. I know it.

Your bf is a lazy-irresponsible-selfish-douche and you’ve let him walk all over you. He’s practically made you into his housekeeper for free. A good relationship should be 50/50 and yours sound like 100% on you. Your too accommodating to his needs, even going as far as neglecting your own (i think that’s something you need to work on).

My advice? Ditch the loser.
Like April said, get your life & education in order. (It’s not too late)!

(sorry if i sound harsh, but it upsets me to see someone being treated like, something on the bottom of his shoe)

you should get one of those magic memory rocks. They really help. Remember ….he’s a loser! Sorry