[April Masini, your AskApril]

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[April Masini, your AskApril]

Start eating all your meals at that restaurant!! 😆 Seriously — it sounds like it’s a great way to see him, flirt with him and give him a chance to reconnect with you and see what he’s missing. If you do that and get the cold shoulder, eventually, then you can move on. But… this may be just the “in” you need to let him know how great you are in person. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re ignoring the underlying problem here: You’re unhappy in your marriage. You’re staying because of finances and because you think it’s best for your child. But you’re looking for attention outside of the marriage. This ex-boyfriend is doing the same thing. It’s a tough situation because unless you have an agreement with your husband that he’s okay with your looking for love and attention outside the marriage, the very family structure you’re trying to protect with marriage, is being threatened by your going outside it. Your ex-boyfriend probably never intended to take his flirtation with you beyond a flirtation. You were safe to him because you’re married, across the country, and to a certain extent, committed to that marriage. All those things make you safe in terms of threatening his marriage. I don’t know what the relationship he has with his girlfriend is like, but you can count on his having flirtations like the one he had with you, with other women, too. I know that’s hurtful to you, but consider the entire set up. 😕

My advice is to forget the “friendship” you have with him. That’s a bust. Let go of him and move on. He’s not who you think he is, and you’ll just fall back into this same disappointment again. Instead, consider working on your marriage, or reconsidering leaving it in order to find genuine affection and respect with someone who is available and ready to be yours (all yours). 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve been dating this guy for four months, and you’re getting to know him. 😉 That’s what dating is all about! Now, it’s time to get to know a little more about his past, and to share yours as well. Most people come to relationships with some sort of dating history, and the fact that he had a girlfriend doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not into you. I think you’re probably worried because the two of you haven’t talked about exes yet so the discovery that he has one is looming larger than it needs to be. You’ll feel better when you get to know each other more and you can find out what the relationship was about and why they broke up. This is actually a perfect time in your relationship to start sharing on this vein. I hope that helps!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re in the friend zone! 😕 Time to get out. You’re not really his friend — because friends don’t have romantic feelings for each other. So stop acting like a friend, and start flirting with him, so he’ll know you’re interested in romance, not friendship. If he gets a clue from you that you like him as more than a friend, he may feel more confident about asking you out. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sounds like there’s more to this story! Since she did try to introduce you to her friends in the past, and you declined because of “past problems” — what were those problems? It seems kind of odd that you wouldn’t want to meet your girlfriend’s friends. Why did her ex threaten you and why did the hosts of this party say such vile things to you? What really happened? Fill me in!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like something didn’t go right and you’re not quite sure what. Time to win her over! Instead of asking what’s wrong, do what’s right! Bring her flowers. Invite her out again, flirt with her and compliment her. If she doesn’t respond positively when you ask her out on dates, then you can move on and chalk it off to not being a match. But before you do that, give it another shot and bring your A game. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m very sorry you’re upset, but you haven’t taken my advice, and you’re back in the same spot you were when you first wrote here, asking for help. 🙁 I can give you the advice, but it’s up to you to make your own choices in life, and as you know I really think this isn’t a healthy relationship for you, and I think you know it, too. 😕 But…. you’re afraid of being single. I understand that. Breaking up is painful and being single after being in a relationship can be difficult. But, if you don’t give it a try and you keep coming back to the same sort of problems, you’re eventually going to have no choice but to be single. You can be proactive and take the lead, or hang in there and he will. Either way it really doesn’t sound like the two of you are compatible. You’re more like each others’ bad habits. 😳 You’ll be a lot happier if you move on. Maybe not at first, but eventually, you will.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Slow down! You met him a week ago when he honked at you from his truck. He hasn’t asked you out on a date and if he does, you should go and get to know him. But really get to know him. 🙂 Find out about who he is — right now, you know very little except that he drives a truck and has a phone number! It’s way too soon to see yourself married to him. 😉 Dating is a process, and if you rush it, you’ll get burned. In the meantime, play the field and keep busy. If you do, you won’t feel as invested in his asking you out or not. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]I would love to answer your questions, but first…. please repost this post as a “reply” to the string of posts you’ve already started on this site here: . You’ll get better advice from me and anyone else here who wants to chime in, if we can see your history in one place. I’ll look out for your repost and answer you there.
[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry this is so difficult at such a tough transitional time for you. Since you’re 19 and he’s 21 and you’ve been dating for 6 years (since you were 13 and he was 15), you probably don’t have a lot of dating experience with other people. For some people that’s fine. For others, they may feel that they missed out on experiences. Your husband may have those feelings. And while you say you recently married and are two months pregnant, I’m guessing that you got married because you were pregnant, which may make him feel trapped, in spite of his being part of the pregnancy sex and being the one to propose and get married. I’m not asking you to forgive him, but I am asking you to try and understand how things got to this point. You’re both very young to be going through all of this at once. And, since he’s making it clear to you that he’s going to cheat on you, and doesn’t seem to want to work on the marriage, you have to make decisions based on that fact. 😳 I know it’s disappointing, but this is where you are. It really sounds like he wants out of the marriage and if he’s not willing to work at it or fight for it, it might be best for you to accept this. When you’re ready, you should ask a family member to come stay with you to help out with the baby — or you can move back home and have the baby there where you’ll have family and friends to support you. I know this is tough to hear. Feel free to ask me any other questions you might have.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why he’s not asking you out is less important than the fact that he’s dawdling and not performing. 😕 The bottom line is that if a guy wants to date you he will. If he doesn’t, he won’t. The why — is less important than the fact that there’s no first date so far. But worse… you’re spending time and energy worrying about it. 😳 Don’t worry — you’re normal. Lots of people do this, but it’s annoying to expend energy on the chance that a guy will ask you out. My advice? Easy. Get busy and move on. If you’re not focusing on him, you’re going to appear popular, interesting and not so available — because that’s who you’ll be! And the irony is that he may find you more datable when you’re less available and less interested. 😉 Try it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it. So, thanks to your pre-posting questionnaire, I can see that you’re both 15 years old, and it sounds like you were looking for attention, so you baited a guy online, in what sounds like an attention seeking experiment — but he’s really into you and doesn’t think you’re ugly or unattractive. He seems to like you, and you didn’t expect that. You can cut him off altogether with a sincere apology and let that be that. If you were older, I’d suggest that you meet him in a coffee shop, in public for safety. But since you’re only 15 years old, I don’t think it’s a great idea to meet a guy in person who you don’t know and only met online. There are so many safety issues that could end this poorly. Just like you were fooling him online, he could be fooling you, too. He could be a 50 year old guy or he could be someone with poor intentions — you just don’t know. The best thing to do is just cut it off and learn your lesson from this one. You misrepresented yourself online, and other people tend to do the same sometimes. Since you’re a young teen, try to meet people in real life to date. It’s safer and you each know a lot more about each other.

I hope that helps!

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