Advice Needed.

This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by specialgirl.

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January 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm #4744

BigOrangeHunter
Participant

I am with this girl. We are in a serious relationship we have been together for around 5 years. We live together and when it’s time to go to bed. She stays on the couch and plays games on FB till she goes to sleep. I have asked over and over for her to come to bed. She comes for 1 day sometimes a few then back to the couch. In the last 6 months we have had relations 3 times. She will get me all worked up on the couch then go back to what she was doing. Then later stays on the couch. Any advice would help thanks.

January 6, 2012 at 2:43 pm #21378

April Masini
Keymaster

It sounds like the problem is that you’re not having enough sex and she’s using the computer as an obstacle to intimacy. 😳

You need to seduce her! Start by having a date night. You can get her off the couch, away from the computer, and get her full attention that way! Or…. have a party. Invite friends over — two or twenty — that’s another way to get her off the computer. If your social attempts don’t work, then talk to her and tell her you miss her — in the bedroom and out. Don’t put her on the defensive — people backed into a corner come out swinging and the idea is to work out a solution, not get into a fight. 😉

Let me know if this works, and how things go. See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this ~~[url]~~http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url]. 😀

January 7, 2012 at 9:55 am #21719

BigOrangeHunter
Participant

I take her out on date nights. After we have company over once they are gone she will go back to the computer. I have talked to her about it a couple times it gets better for a few days then goes back to the same thing. We broke up over this once a few years ago and i almost married another girl. When we got back together things were great for awhile then we moved in together. I got a $2000 dollar bed she still sleeps on the couch and then complains she hurts all over. She came to bed the last 2 nights and i gave her a massage all over her back for about an hour. Once i tried to go any further than that i got shut down and told tomorrow night. Well next night she all of the sudden started hurting before bed she did come to bed again but rolled over away from me and just went to sleep. I just don’t know what else to do.

January 8, 2012 at 1:06 am #21728

April Masini
Keymaster

Check out the book I wrote called Romantic Date Ideas designed to put the X back in your sex life: ~~[url]~~http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url]. It’s got some great ideas to get you both in the mood.

I think those dates in the book will work.

And if that doesn’t….. have a talk with her, and explain that this is a deal breaker. Ask her advice on how you can get your needs met. Because if she doesn’t care about your needs and isn’t willing to meet you halfway, then you’ve basically got a girlfriend who doesn’t care about you. 😳 And that, my friend, is a flashing red light meaning you should stop what you’re doing and let go and move on. 😥

Let me know if the book helps.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: ~~[url]~~http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url].

January 8, 2012 at 10:47 am #21827

specialgirl
Participant

Shes avoiding having sex with you and you need to find out why.. Could she be spending all her computer time chatting with another guy?..seems like somethings going on ..

January 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm #21678

April Masini
Keymaster

There’s a lot of cyber cheating and a lot of using the computer as an excuse to avoid reality going on. She is definitely using that computer as a way to avoid real life. Whether she’s chatting with another guy, playing video games or attending online university courses, she’s still on it way too much! When the computer interferes with real life relationships, it’s a serious problem.
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