Is He Cheating?

This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by Jamgurl.

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January 8, 2012 at 5:41 am #4807

Jamgurl
Participant

Dear April,

I have been with my boyfriend/fiance since i was 19 years old, I am now 25 years old. Our relationship has always been great. We are as close as i think a couple can be and we talk about almost everything. Ever since I’ve known him he told me about this woman that liked him but he was no longer interested in her and the lost touch.

Fast forward a few years they got back in touch, I really didn’t mind because she seem to need a friend at the time. They talk online and over the phone, sometimes for hours. But then I started to get jealous because it got a bit too often and one night he was speaking to her from after 11pm to 5am on free mins, i thought that was disrespectful because i was up and wanted company. Anyways we live together and use the same computers, i know all his passwords and he knows all mine. One day I got curious and snoop in his email, and did i get a shock, he sent her a pic of his private and she sent him alot of hers!!! when i ask him, his lame excuse was that she kept asking so he just sent it. Since then I don’t trust him, he is with me 90% of the time since we live and run a business together but i still feel like there is alot more he have done and i just don’t find out.

I emailed her to ask what was going on with them and she was very disrespectful and claim that he doesn’t want me and that her daughter belongs to him. I didn’t really believe her because she also said they lived together which is impossible since he’s with me all the time at our home.

There have also been other women he speak to online and give them his number.

This is the man that i have spent the last 6+ years loving and I really don’t know how what to do about this. We keep arguing about the same thing over and over and it is taking a toll on out relationship.

He said I disrespect him because i go through his emails, which I know is wrong because i doubt he check my mails

Thanks for reading.

January 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm #21642

specialgirl
Participant

cheaters always throw it back on the other person for snooping..keep the focus on him.. at the very least hes being disrectful of your rel..chatting for hours? sending graphic texts? all contact with this girl should stop..hes not respectful of the boundaries of an exclusive rel..

January 8, 2012 at 11:53 pm #21751

Jamgurl
Participant

~~[quote=”specialgirl”]~~cheaters always throw it back on the other person for snooping..keep the focus on him.. at the very least hes being disrectful of your rel..chatting for hours? sending graphic texts? all contact with this girl should stop..hes not respectful of the boundaries of an exclusive rel..[/quote]

Thanks for your response. He and I had a argument few months ago and he said he does not speak to her anymore and changed his cell number. But after all his action it has been hard to believe his words.

All this happen months ago, i do notice the calls have stopped and he isn’t online much anymore but i cant help but wonder if he cheated. A email the chick sent him, she seem VERY hurt that i emailed her and even said he “played” he and she was saving herself for him.

He have NEVER said he did anything, ive always thought of him to be honest but he does lie and i find out. Ive never snoop and found anything other than the pic he sent. Last week i saw a email he sent her months ago, it wasn’t intimate but he was telling her he will be home all day and will be sure to call her so she must not worry. (She call him babes and was complaining that he wasn’t calling much)

January 9, 2012 at 2:45 pm #21730

April Masini
Keymaster

Your boyfriend is bad news. 😳 And you are pulling the wool over your own eyes. 😳

~~[quote]~~Our relationship has always been great. We are as close as i think a couple can be and we talk about almost everything.[/quote]

How on earth can your relationship always be great when he’s sending photos of his naked body parts to another woman, and she’s sending him hers? 😯

And if you think you’re as close as a couple can be — when he’s spending hours on hours on the phone with another woman and has clearly lied to you — then you need some very strong coffee, or a bonk on the head to clear out the cobwebs that are keeping you from the truth. 🙄

He’s not your Mr. Right and he’s cheated on you and other women. I’d be very interested if the woman who said your boyfriend is the father of her daughter is correct. A paternity test could easily solve that problem and it would seem that if he is a father, he should want to be involved in his daughter’s life.

I know you’ve invested 6 years in this relationship, but you were young when you got involved, and you should feel lucky you’re not married, haven’t invested even more time and don’t have kids with him. It’s impossible to live with someone who lies because there will never be any trust and people who are chronic liars care more about their own feelings and manipulating outcomes than they do about other people and the pain that the truth can sometimes bring.

My advice is to let go, move out and move on. Learn your lesson and choose more wisely next time. 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: ~~[url]~~http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1154528031[/url].

January 10, 2012 at 3:25 am #21873

Jamgurl
Participant

Thanks for you reply April.

All this happen months ago and I just wanted to hear what other women think of the situation.
I said our relationship had been great because we have never had any serious argument over the years we are together.
I cant confidently say he have cheated because he really does not have the importunity to. At the time this incident happen he was mourning his mom and didn’t go anywhere. He is Most definitely guilty of flirting and being disrespectful to the relationship.

After doing my “investigation” it came to my attention that the child the chick spoke of actual father lives overseas(with his wife&family). I guess that is her way of putting salt in my wound.

I do appreciate you being frank with me, I like that. I am working on forgiving him since it was his 1st offence, its up to him to prove himself. I however will take your advise if he should do anything like that.

Continue doing the good work!
Will check out your social pages

January 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm #21791

April Masini
Keymaster

I wish you luck, but sadly, I think you’ll be back here to ask advice on this same situation in this same relationship. 😳
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