Confused!

This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 2 months ago by April Masini.

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June 7, 2015 at 12:24 am #6903

relationshipa1
Keymaster

Hey April!
I’m 18, I’ve been talking to a guy who’s nearly 21. Been talking nearly 4 months. Okay so we met online and we’re just textng for a while and got to like each other, eventually he would come to my house once or twice a week, slept together on the 4th date. The first 3 months we would talk every day and I had no doubts he wanted to talk to me. After he slept over for the first time everything was going fine for about another week until he started backing off a bit and becoming distant. I gave him space and he still initiated conversation every now and then. I’m at the point where I think I should just move on because if he wanted to talk to me he would. So I braught up the “what’s going on with us” conversation. He said he doesn’t want anything serious yet. I told him I don’t want to wait around for nothing. He said he’s happy to keep talking a bit. I gave him the option to move on or back up and take it slow. He said taking it slow would be good. What I am confused about is whether he only said that so I stick around, as I did mention I will just move on, or whether he does want to start again and take it slow. He gets along with my family really well, I’m not getting the impression he’s talking to another girl, his last relationship ended abruptly when his ex admitted to cheating on him. What do you reckon? 🙂

June 7, 2015 at 9:18 am #30391

maysdriver
Participant

k, here goes. I’m typing this on my cell phone so please forgive the punctuation and spelling. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. I cannot get her to get away from her ex. He is a good mechanic and that’s one of her reasons. He does her mechanic work free of charge. She says he also still gives her money so she would be stupid to stop going over to his house. If that’s all it was it may be difficult, but I would get past it. The problem is that it goes much deeper than that. She goes over to his house in the middle of the night, she goes out to eat and to the movies with him. She still takes her son over there few times a week to play video games. His mother just put my girlfriend on her auto insurance policy. He constantly propositions her. He says things like I’m not fixing your car till you get in bed with me. They were together 8 years and she’s been with me the past two years . But, now she’ll say she’s been with him 10 years. It’s like they are still together. Everytime I say anything she says anybody and everybody would do the same in her position because it’s free auto repair and money. But, it’s not free. It’s costing me my dignity and sanity. What’s your opinion of this situation?

June 8, 2015 at 12:25 pm #30396

April Masini
Keymaster

Hi there, ~~[b]~~maysdriver[/b].

Please repost your question as a fresh post, and I’ll look out for it, and answer it there, when you do! What you’ve done is posted your question as a reply to a question by ~~[b]~~Emmm[/b]. 😮 I’m going to answer her question here, and I’ll look out for yours when you repost and answer yours next! 😀

June 8, 2015 at 12:32 pm #30397

April Masini
Keymaster

Hi ~~[b]~~Emmm[/b]!

You should trust your instincts, and follow a couple of tips I’m going to give you. When you meet a guy online, there’s a chance he’s just looking for sex. You need to be on the lookout for this. If a guy is interested in a real relationship with you, he’s going to want to take you out on a real date, impress you and treat you like a girlfriend. If all he does is hang out with you and then have sex with you, he’s not that interested. I think that’s your instinct, but you may be new to dating — or online dating — so you’re second guessing yourself. 😕

You can also tell without having to ask, if a guy is into you. The way you can tell is that he’ll want to call you, text you, e-mail you and date you! When he slows down his contact, it’s because he’s lost interest. Guys hate “the conversation” about the relationship, so I don’t ever advise having it. There are rarely surprises in these conversations, and they’re usually just ways for a woman to express her displeasure with the way she’s being treated. My advice is to figure it out on your own, and move on — even when it’s disappointing.

As for your confusion, he’s told you he wants to take it slow because he wants to keep you around. He’s clearly playing the field, and if he’s bored or doesn’t have a better date, he may contact you for more of the same, but I don’t think this is what you really want. My advice? Move on! 🙂

Hope that helps.

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