[Anonymous]

I agree. I am being selfish.

And you’re blunt honesty is what I need. Sugar coating doesn’t do anyone any good. I’m aware of my consequences at this point.

I could go on about how timing and things have prevented us from dating in the past, but you’re right. The point isn’t my issues. It’s hers. Her focus should be to work on her marriage and try to salvage something if possible. For her kid if nothing else.

I see where you’re coming from as far as ‘interference’ is concerned. I’m not intending on trying to ‘woo’ her or anything, but she should work on her marriage. That being said, I’m going to let things naturally progress. She’s tried making her marriage work long before I came into the picture. I’ve only been a hearing ear to her when she wants to address it, but we typically don’t talk about it. We just talk about her day or my day, and catch up on what we may have missed in the past. Next week could be a huge changing point as she’s moving into a new house. He’ll probably move in with her if things are better, but that may be when things will turn one way or another.

And I’m still on the prowl. 😎 I don’t stop dating or looking for dates because of this. And that actually seems to bug her a little bit. It’s strange. She’s a wonderful person who just wants someone to treat her good. She’s never had that. For whatever reason.

And you’re advice has been great. Thanks for your help and I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear I shouldn’t have to apologize.

It really sucks that it seems guys and girls can’t be friends. I get he’s being self protective and ignoring me is his way of moving on in his own life. All the same i’m not impressed, guess I don’t have to be now though do I? I’ve had friends that i’ve like it the past and haven’t felt the same about me. I still manage to deal with it and move on while still being their friend. As you say it was only one date! Really!

[Anonymous]

Wow great point lol. Thanks

[Anonymous]

I appreciate your response to my post.

I’ve thought about just moving on. I’ve done it twice already… but what’s one more time right? I mean, I always thought she seen me as no more than a friend, until she opened up to me telling me how she thought about me constantly, how she wished I would have never left, and how she felt bad for how things ended a month after we stopped talking to each other. I know she loves me. Deep down in my heart, I know this woman loves me. She used to say she didn’t ‘see me as anymore than a friend’. And now, it’s more like, “I don’t want you to end up like every other guy I’ve dated.” Her ex’s have ended up hating her. I’m almost positive she talks to me more than her husband at this point, and from what she’s said to me, it’s for the best. All her husband does is play poker, work, and sleep on the couch most of the time. He’s very attentive to his son. He loves him very much. He just doesn’t care for her.

I just don’t want to fight fate again. I’d hate to let things just fade away and have her resenting me for leaving her life AGAIN. She knows my intentions and knows I love her very much. So, based on what I’ve said, and I DO know she’s married and have no intentions of tempting her into an affair. We’ve addressed that and know that’s not happening. Does she actually have feelings for me? I mean, is it that she’s afraid I’ll end up like her other ex’s or is she just wanting to keep me around for moral support or whatever? And should I just let things gradually dissapate with us or do I need to tell her it’s best if I moved on?

[Anonymous]

This makes me so sad. I feel so unwanted and insecure. I didn’t misread him. Before I moved in with him we were talking marriage. I wanted to wait until after marriage to move in. He told me he needed us to live together no more than a year for us to get married. So I did, thinking it was a compromise- afterall that’s what marriage is like. After a year of living together (that went great) I moved OUT since he never came through on the engagement.

A couple months later I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t move back in with him though. We were like “dating” again and he proposed before our daughter was born. I always thought people got married after they were proposed to and so I moved in after our daughter was born.

And so here we are. How can someone string along a person like this? Why can’t men be honest. If he knew he didn’t want to marry me– just tell me and don’t waste my time. Don’t tell me I’m the girl you’ve been waiting for all your life and then prove it by not marrying me.

April thanks for your advice.

[Anonymous]

I was kind of thinking the same thing, although it will only be a couple of months until we’re in the same city. Also, I’m gonna be in her city about 3 or 4 times before she moves and she has told me I have to call her. Should I use those 3 or 4 hangout sessions to get a better idea if she really likes me? Maybe I could do some light flirting and see what happens?

Thanks btw!! 😀

[Anonymous]

Thanks April for yr prompt feedback

[Anonymous]

Hi April

I forgot to mention one thing. We are living together, and have been so for 4 years. So I’m not sure how much (non)-marriage is a factor here. Therefore, I’d like to hear your opinion. If it maintains, I’ll seriously think about making an effort to break-up. It might take a couple of months to muster up the courage, but I will come back with news.

[Anonymous]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

You are right, but now I have bigger fish to fry! I live with mom, in college funded by mom, and I found out last night am pregnant. Good news is he will be happy because he has no kids and he really wants kids. Bad news this is my third time being pregnant (miscarriage and abortion), and now for him. What should I do? Mom will either kick me out or disown me; although he will be there 100% what about mom? How am I going to face her? What am I going to do?

[Anonymous]

You are right about all of it. What im concerned about is 1. being alone and 2. him hurting himself, which he threatens to do every time he thinks he is going to lose me. I have a feeling that he’s doing drugs. and he got fired today. He told me that he needs help. Should I still kick him out if he’s threatening to kill himself??

[Anonymous]

Your right. I’ve heard the same from my friends and even a girlfriend of hers.
Im taking the advise and im done with this relationship.
I’ll sit through all the guilt trip emails she sends me making it sound like its all my fault not wanting to be with her but it’s for the best.
My heart and life is not cut out to be in this type of relationship.
Thank You again………..
danny

[Anonymous]

[quote=”April Masini”]Here’s the advice I have for you: Put on your running shoes — and RUN!

This woman is so wrong for you in so many ways, I don’t have time or space to name them all. 😯 She is really troubled. Deeply troubled. She’s pregnant right now with some other guy’s baby. You need to step back — waaaaaaay back, and stop all contact with her. You can’t help her. Her problems are too enormous for you, and now she’s pregnant by an ex-convict, drug addict — you may put yourself in danger with [b]him[/b] 😳 if you continue to be involved with her.

So, like I said, RUN![/quote]

Thank You. Yes i tried my best to have her change and make her happy but in the end it’s just a waste of time. My friends said the same thing to me RUNNNNNNN ! . I have a big heart but its not ment for something like this. I have way to much going in my life to be involved with chaos and drama. So i’ve endured her numerous emails professing her love for me and now that know all this stuff about her im just leaving her and im the bad guy. Go figure.
Thank You for your advice i really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I’m 22 years old and he’s 23.

I’ve been waiting for my promise ring for about 7 months since he told me.

When I was asked him a while back what a promise ring meant to him, he said it mean we would get married someday. He also said it might be a promise ring, it might be “something else”
I’m thinking an enga
All I want is for him to come through with what he said…I want some commitment.
He’s waiting for the right time…but its making me go crazy and think he’s never gonna do what he says.

[Anonymous]

Don’t ever think that you made the wrong decision when doing something for yourself. I made the mistake of not going to college for a guy. We were in love and got married shortly after high school. After being together 4 years he came home one night and stated that he wanted a divorce and didnt love me anymore. Out of nowhere. I regret not going to school. I was blinded by love. Now im not saying to give up on your guy but what i do know is, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Your education is important, especially with the economy the way it is now. It’s becoming more and more difficult to get a job without education. If you two are meant to be together, he will understand and it will work. Just give him time. If hes your Mr. Right he will come around. I know it may seem hard right now without him around. (believe me ive been there) Try to stay busy and try to focus on school and your friends. If its right, it will work!

[Member]

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