[Lamine]

There are two types of Love. The passionate Love and the Companionate Love. The Passionate love is intense and engulfing. The kind that you can’t eat until you talk to them. It feels like you’re on drugs, because there are lots of neuro-chemical stuff happening.

Like someone on drugs, you may see nice things that aren’t actually there, or miss red flags that are actually there. And like every drug, at some point you will become sober, and start seeing the things you missed or realize that they are not exactly who you thought they were. That is the case with passionate love.

Also, at times you develop resistance to a dose, and need to increase the dose to get your usual high, but usually, when people get maried they start doing or being less of what made their partner fall in love with them, for example, reduced effort in appearance.

So, when you need a higher dosage, you are getting a lower dosage.

So they come up to you (a higher dosage) at the time, but you may end up having the same faith as their current wife, because that is what passionate love does to you.

What we should all seek is Companionate love, it is stable, deep and long term.

[Lamine]

In Psychology we call what your mother did emotional coercion. From your profile picture you look like you’re old enough to individually decide whom to date. But you are struggling to differentiate your own self from your family(according to Bowen’s Framework), and this will always be a problem in any relationship you find yourself, even when it is supported by your mother.

You should be able to help your mother see your point, and let her know she really has no choice. You’re old enough to make decisions on your and live with the consequences if they turn out wrong. As long as you and your girlfriend wouldn’t be living in the same home with your mother, 9it really doesn’t matter if your mother like her or not.

[Lamine]

As April said, this is normal. As a matter of fact, not just in romantic relationships. Literally every aspect of life.

You just have to relax, and don’t act on every suspicion. Take your time. You are aware of the issue, just remind yourself of what is happening, when you catch yourself slipping?

[Lamine]

If you don’t get far away from, you’re either going to end up in a body bag or being questioned by the police about how he ended up dead.

My point is, they police are gonna get involved at some point. The only question is how bad do you want things to be when they do, this bad or you dead bad?

If you’re being held back because he pays your coillege tuition, remember you can’t go to college dead.

[Lamine]

Love is one thing.

Comparability is another.

Love is enough for high school relationships

Love is not enough for adult relationships.

You need compatibility

You clearly love

May be he does too.

But one thing is obvious

YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE

You are an ambitious woman, you should be with an ambitious man. So, you can move faster.

Not someone who will keep dragging you down with him.

[Lamine]

If losing your virginity to him is gonna hurt youy if he leaves you after. Then, just don’t until you get married. He even told you he can’t say he loves you because he isn’t certain. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY NBEED. Even if he did, he is human, humans lie. Just Don’t

[Lamine]

The signs are there but you’ve chose to ignore them.

You asked if he thought about you more, and he didn’t say yes.

You sent him a Christmas card and he didn’t send you anything in return, not even a Christmas card.

The truth is that he doesn’t see whatever is going on between you both as you see it.

[Lamine]

Her anger is right. Maybe her thinking you’re evil is a wrong conclusion, but that really doesn’t matter right now.

And her fear of being infected by STD is also right. You lied to her about having sex, why would she believe that you used protection.

Where things stand now, you may be tempted to say well you did it when you weren’t together. DON’T

You would be digging your grave dipper.

Now, find her, you need to meet her in person. Take full responsibility of everything she accuses you of. Show your sincerity. Tell her you are willing to take an STD test in any clinic of her choice.

Tell her you lied because you were scared of losing her, and accept that was selfish of you.

Tell her she doesn’t have to have sex with you when you get back together until she trusts you again. And if she ever catches you in a line again, she should leave you finally.

[Lamine]

What does he mean by working on your relationship.

What does he say you’re doing wrongly

Cos it doesn’t make sense to me that your boyfriend would speak to you like that, threatening you with seeing other people.

12 years is a long time. With someone who is trying to move in with you, instead of the other way around or getting somewhere together, and you don’t even trust him enough ton put him on the lease. What exactly is your plan here. I think you need to reconsider your relationship as a whole. HE’S A POTENTIAL DEADBEAT.

[Lamine]

Honestly, there are only two ways to go about this.

The first one, you already did, by telling her how you feel about her joining a sorority.

And it seems that didn’t work.

The other option is deciding on if this is something you can compromise on or not, and standing by your decision.

If you can’t date a sorority girl, then maybe you’re just not meant for each other.

[Lamine]

😂😂😂 What do you expect him to say on the call?

If you somehow get back together with this guy, this will happen again several times.

I think he has a lot going on and doesn’t have his shit together.

If you know you want to continue being stood on dates then get back with him, you know where he lives

Otherwise move on.

Pro tip- Don’t tell people you’re breaking up with them, if you don’t mean it, cos, after a couple of times, they stop taking you serious.

[Lamine]

You are doing everything right so far. Even for a friend, i think just announcing that you want to date her might be too heavy for her to handle. Let your actions do the talking for you.

She hugs other guys. OKay. what would you like to do that she doesn’t do with other guys? Initiate it, gently, see her reaction. Please don’t jump the gun, i don’t mean just walking up to her and kissing her or something. YOu seem like a pretty smart lad, i think you know what to do, Like April said do a way with the labels, just act, invite her out. spend time together alone, discussing importaant and intimate stuff.

[Lamine]

I couldn’t have said it better than AskApril. Exactly what I was going to say. It’s veery important you take your time before the penetrative sex, let her want it, thn work with her durimg the penetrative sex, move at her pace, pay attention to her face for feedback. Try not to get carried away.

[Lamine]

God ain’t saving yo ass. You ain’t getting her bback😂😂😂 Everything you did, you currently feel, you are willing to do, is a masterclass on how to die single.

[Lamine]

You lost him. Depending on what was happening thatcaused you not to feel happy before you broke up with him, you could have already lost him at that point, or when you left him, you overplayed your hand. Not everyone can easily dump their partner and go back to their ex like you.

[Member]

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