Being patient, but she seems to be getting further away

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  • #1432
    neonshrk
    Participant

    I have been seeing this wonderful woman for almost 2 months now. She has had 2 marriages prior that have been horrible and she is afraid to get into a relationship. Over the last month and a half we have grown closer and closer and I have been abiding my time, not pressuring her and giving her the space she needs. I have let her know my feelings for her and she has also expressed certain feelings for me but is still asking me to be patient. I sent her flowers today, first time, with hopes that she would see that I am moving slowly but wanted to provide her with something nice. The flowers seemed to push her away even more now. What went wrong? I was hoping she would be happy and excited to recieve them but it was quite the opposite. Her daughter loves me and is always wanting me to come over which Donna, the woman I want, thinks is great since her daughter is very picky about who she likes and doesn’t. We have slept together, 3 times, and it has been great for the both of us, at least thats what she tells me. Am I doing anything wrong? We have the most wonderful conversations and never run out of things to talk about. I am at a loss as of what to do. Any help would be embraced with open arms.

    #10816
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    You’re not doing anything wrong — except for pursuing a woman who’s not available to you! 😮

    If this was a woman who was interested in you, you’d be doing everything right, but when you send her flowers, and she sees this as a sign of encroachment, she’s really not ready to be in a relationship with you. Her reasons — getting over 2 very bad failed marriages — are understandable for wanting to back off when things start to get intimate and serious. She’s gun shy.

    And because she’s a single mother, she has even more reason to be hesitant about getting involved again, since she hasn’t chosen well in her last two husbands, and not only has she gone through the trauma of break ups and divorce, but so has her daughter.

    Read the writing on the wall and move on. You deserve someone who is all there for you because you’re doing it all right. Dating is a process, and part of the process means figuring out who’s right and who’s wrong for you. Don’t take the rejection as a big hit — take it as a gift, so that you don’t have to waste any more time on someone who isn’t ready to be with you.

    I hope that helps! 🙂

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