How do I regain his trust?

This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 15 years ago by Anonymous.

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July 26, 2010 at 12:16 pm #2782

relationshipa1
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I broke up with my boyfriend in January, we still loved each other very much, but we couldn’t stop arguing and things just weren’t working. When I broke up with him he got incredibly angry and cut off all contact with me. I didn’t think I would ever hear from him again.

Whilst we were broken up I started seeing a close friend of his for a while, we slept together a few times when I was drunk and it was a mistake.

My boyfriend and I got back together in May after bumping into each other, it has been fantastic until he found out a couple of weeks ago that I had slept with his friend. He is so upset and has told me that it is my responsibility to make him feel better or he will break up with me.

What should I do? I don’t know what to say or how to behave to make it better. I haven’t cheated on him but I have broken his trust. How do I get this back? I really love him.

July 27, 2010 at 9:08 am #15038

Anonymous
Participant

You we’re broken up and you don’t owe him anything. That said, have you told him that you thought it was a mistake? You have no responsibility for his irrational emotions but he most likely can’t help but feel hurt. Give him time to calm down and take him someplace that he would enjoy, talk, laugh together and end the night making slow passionate love. You are sorry for what you did, but for yourself, not for him.

July 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm #14949

martine4161
Participant

It is very good topic about trust. Trust is most important thing for every one. If we love some one deeply we have to trust on them. Without trust we can not maintain our relationship.Try and remember what those first few days, weeks or even (if you’re very lucky) years were like. A breakup does not mean you have to lose him forever.Relationships are never entirely without their bad times. To have a happy, long lasting relationship you have to keep the bad times to a minimum.To regain the love of your life it will be necessary to control your emotions. You cannot force your ex to love you or want to be with you again. Just try this things you will get your love.

July 27, 2010 at 3:38 pm #14651

April Masini
Keymaster

Yours is a very common problem. It’s understandable that after you broke up with your boyfriend you were free to date whomever you wanted. It’s also understandable that your boyfriend is upset upon finding out the person you dated was a close friend of his. If and until he gets over this feeling of anger, jealousy and frustration at not having control, every time he sees his friend, he is going to think of the two of you together. Neither one of you is wrong. It’s just a situation that requires ~~[i]~~understanding, maturity and time[/i].

Your boyfriend asking YOU to make him feel better is just his lashing out at you because he’s upset. Clearly the only way you can make him feel better is to say how sorry you are that the two of you broke up and to explain to him how you felt as a newly single (and possibly rejected) person, and that you made a mistake by dating his friend, but you really hope that he understands that that was a blip on the radar of what can be a long-term relationship between the two of you if you are both willing to commit to supporting each other through this bump in the road.

Be careful not get defensive when you talk to him about this. Try to stay calm and level headed and to be reassuring that he is the one you want.

I hope that helps — let me know how things go. And please join me on Facebook. I’d love to have you become a free member of AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: ~~[url]~~http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url].
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