April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Is he jealous?
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jlafferty23.
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October 16, 2011 at 4:26 pm #4445
jlafferty23
ParticipantOkay so me and this guy from work kind of had a thing for a couple of weeks, but all of a sudden it stopped. I decided to ask him what was going on, he told me that he has a hard time trusting people, I decided that me and him should be just friends even though I still feel an attraction to him. So, after that discussion, we worked together, but there was this other guy there that I hadn’t had a shift with yet. Me and him started talking, connecting, and from the corner of my eye I see the other guy just staring but he was laughing and smiling. He then would come and interrupt us and be like “Oh here’s a picture I drew of you”, or be like “Oh I see that you two are connecting”, then afterward when it was just me and him alone for a second, he goes “You know that guy, he’s a really nice guy, he’s not an ass like me” Is he jealous or just being a guy friend?
Then the next week, he would go up to other girls right infront of me and say things like “oh doesn’t she have nice hair| touching other girls hair. I know he was doing it to upset me, and thats what frustrates me, why would he want to upset me?
What should I do?
October 16, 2011 at 8:27 pm #20379April Masini
KeymasterIt sounds like he likes you, but doesn’t have the tools to be in a healthy relationship. My advice is to beleive him when he tells you he can’t date you because he has trust issues. I know you think you like him, but if what he’s saying is true, there isn’t really a healthy relationship to be had with him. My advice is to try and accept what he’s said and look elsewhere for guys to date.
I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
[url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url] October 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm #20327ParticipantThanks for replying April! I do have something to add though.
This guy I’m talking about is still technically in a relationship, but he told me when we first started talking that they don’t talk and he was going to break up with her. I feel horrible for even getting involved with this guy, I would never want that done to me. But this guy does not seem happy with his girlfriend…
I’m confused about what he wants from me.
But I do agree that I should accept what he said.
I will definitely follow you on twitter!
October 16, 2011 at 9:00 pm #20265KeymasterIf he breaks up with his girlfriend, it’s not your fault. I know you want to feel badly for her, but you have to understand that he’s a big boy and he’s going to do what’s right for him. And if he’s not interested in her any more, it’s really in HER best interest that he let go and free her to date guys who ARE interested in her instead of being with someone who’s looking over his shoulder for a better girlfriend. 😉 October 16, 2011 at 9:01 pm #20266ParticipantThat’s very true! Once again, thanks for answering.
Wish I would have found this forum a long time ago. I will be visiting often
😀 October 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm #20267KeymasterYou’re welcome. 😀 October 24, 2011 at 10:46 pm #20596ParticipantUPDATE!! Okay, so this is an update on my last post. Is he Jealous?
I took your advice April, and left this guy alone and started hanging out with another guy I work with, the guy I was “connecting” with. Unfortunately, the first guy that I originally went out on a couple of dates with still works with me and I don’t understand what he’s trying to accomplish with his actions.
I will be sitting with this new guy I have been talking too, and he will come up interrupt us and start talking to this guy, fishing for info, asking what he likes to do, how he does it, what’s in school for, and he goes on and on while I’m just sitting there not even getting a chance to talk to this guy.
Then he’ll finally leave, and he will come right back up and be like “Awh you guys are so cute”, he will come up to be privately and say “you should go out with him”. And then he will go and flirt with other girls to purposely try and make me jealous. Thing is, I am not jealous, he makes it so obvious, he will only do it infront of me, he talks loud to make sure I’m paying attention to him flirting with all these other girls and then he says to me and this guy.
“We should all go out on a group date, all four of us” He was referring to me and this new guy and him and this girl he has been flirting with infront of me, and he looks straight at me and starts laughing and smiling.I just don’t understand, is it jealousy? is he really just trying to be a friend? I don’t get it. It’s really starting to get annoying.
October 25, 2011 at 12:02 am #20586KeymasterHe’s acting out something he can’t express normally. My advice is to not pay attention to him. Just focus on the guy you’re interested in. 😉 October 25, 2011 at 9:44 am #20593ParticipantOnce again, thanks for answering April. But what exactly is he acting out? Is he being a control freak? Is he jealous? Does he want something he can’t have? By what I tell you, what is your opinion?
October 25, 2011 at 12:34 pm #20422KeymasterIt doesn’t matter what it is he’s acting out. What’s important is that you focus on what’s going to move you forward in a healthy relationship with the guy you’re dating. Since he’s not the one, stop spending energy wondering what he’s thinking and doing. It’s not going to serve you — or him. 😉 -
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