We have been together for over 3years now and for the first year or so we had sex pretty frequent, not everyday but at least 3-5 times a week, and I was fine with that. We both have never been the overly sexual type and both never were into promiscuous sex. Anyways let me cut to my point, about a year and a half ago we started having sex further and further days apart until it happened maybe once a week to once every two weeks and now it’s once a month if I’m lucky. He isn’t cheating and we’re both very much in love but it sometimes feels like we aren’t as loving as we once were. He himself has told me hates sex as he thinks of the act as disgusting and that people shouldn’t be driven by it. He tells me he only has sex with me to make me happy and not for himself. It kids hurts, I want to feel wanted and I want to feel needed in that way. Without sex I feel like a huge chunk of our relationship isn’t Bek g tended to. I feel lonely and I feel ugly because of this. I am with him every day and night but it seems like we just don’t have time for sex. I am rejected 99% of the times I try to initiate sex with him and he’s even slapped my hands or pushed me away saying “no” like I’m a dog. I hate it. I feel like I’m begging him to have sex with me. I have tried bringing it up and he just says “you know I don’t care about sex and I knew it would become a problem for you” or it becomes a bigger argument. I don’t want to have to ask him to be romantic with me I want him to want to but I have no idea how to increase his sex drive and it drives me nuts. He thinks that since we don’t have sex that often that whenever we do it makes it special, honestly it doesn’t, I just end up thinking to myself “fucking finally” and that’s not the worlds most romantic thoughts. Out sex life used to be so magical to me and passionate and beautiful and now it’s dead and whenever we do have sex it’s total of 10 or maybe 15 minutes and its always missionary and hardly ever any foreplay. I feel so stupid being so upset by it but its really starting to make me feel awful and I’ve fantasized and though about sex with other people and I used to never be that way. I am so desperate for his affection and attention I don’t know what to do. I feel pathetic. He won’t even shower with me and I just want the comfort of that but he won’t do it. He won’t do anything with me that involves our naked bodies being near each other. It’s made me uncomfortable being naked around him almost, and he used be so helpful to make me comfortable about it. We hardly even make out. So I guess what my question should be is, how do I get my boyfriend to want to be sexual and want to shower with me without asking him blatantly or forcing it upon him or make him feel bad? How do I get him to just desire me? Help me anyone please. I can’t do this anymore it’s starting to get to my self esteem.
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